Two Feet High and Rising/Transcript
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< Two Feet High and Rising
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Scene I: The Lemur Habitat
Edit
(King Julien is seen sitting on a bamboo lawn chair. Maurice is heard off screen filling up balloons)
Maurice: Oooh, that’s a good one. Oooh, and now even bigger! My, that one tied off nicely.
Julien: Merciful mercies! What is taking so long?!
(Maurice, standing on their boom-box next to an air compressor, finishes filling up one last balloon)
Maurice: Sorry your majesty. Just securing these balloons onto your… er... uh...
Julien: (Quick and eagerly) Super-Comfy-Pamper-Time-Floaty-Throne.
Maurice: (Slowly) Super-Comfy-Pamper-Time-Floaty-Throne. Sure. Let’s go with that. All right, let’s get the pampering over with. (Shudders)
(Maurice is seen brushing King Julien’s teeth, brushing his back, and grooming King Julien)
Julien: Oooh yeah, baby. Brushy brushy! That’s right, groom me. Groom me like you mean it! Give me all the grooming you’ve got!
(Maurice goes to clean King Julien’s feet, but King Julien shoos him away)
Julien: Uh-uh-uh! There is only one set of hands that is fitting to be touching the royal feet. And that is…
(Mort stares hopefully)
Julien: The hands of the king himself.
(Mort sighs sadly. Julien begins washing his feet while Mort stares. He hops down from his throne)
Julien: There! It is time to be beholding the shiny, clean and perfectly polished royal...
Mort: (Runs over joyfully) – Feet!
(King Julien attempts to shake Mort off of his feet)
Julien: No, Mort! Not the minty fresh king feet!
(Julien succeeds at shaking Mort off of his feet. Mort is sent flying, lands on the air compressor, knocks the valve off, and is sent rocketing into King Julien. Mort smiles at Julien, who has nearly been impaled by the compressor.
Mort: Hi!
They bounce off of the fake volcano and go skywards, screaming. They land on and destroy the Super-comfy-pamper-time-floaty-throne. King Julien snarls at Mort)
Mort: (Apologetically) Oopsie.
Maurice: You've all been called here today to withstand a proclamation from King Julien himself.
Marlene: 30 peanuts says this is about his feet.
Bert: Make it 30.
Julien: (Clears his throat) From this moment, that is happening now and on, those who touch the king's feet, which are mine, shall be punished most savagely! (He unrolls a piece of parchment with a picture of a foot in a "No" sign) I drew that. Really. I did.
(Everyone groans)
Mort: No feet?
Skipper: Well, that's five minutes of our lives not worth getting payed back.
Kowalski: Until I get my time machine fully functioning.
(Everyone leaves)
Julien: Wait! This is a very serious proclamation that I am proclaiming! (Sticks the parchment on the plastic volcano) Look! It is posted right here on the plastic volcano! And anyone who dares to be touching my beautiful feets shall be banish-ed from my kingdom. FOREVER!
Maurice: Ever... Ever... Ever...
Julien: What are you doing?
Maurice: Echoing you for dramatic effect.
Julien: Oh, nice. I like it. Now, go to rebuilding my super comfy pamper-time floaty throne.
(Maurice leaves)
Mort: Banished... Forever?
Julien: Forever!
Maurice: Ever... Ever... Ever...
Scene II: The Lemur HabitatEdit
King Julien and Maurice are seen standing on top of a rock in front of the fake volcano, preparing to give a speech. All the other animals appear to be in attendance.
Maurice: Ahem. You have all been called hear to dig a royal proclamation from King Julien himself!
Marlene: (Quietly to Burt’s trunk) Thirty peanuts says this is about his feet.
Burt: Make it forty.
Marlene: Deal.
King Julien: (Clearing his throat) From this moment, that is happening now and on, those who touch (points at one of his feet) the king’s feet, which are mine, will be punished most savagely.
King Julien unrolls a scroll with crudely drawn foot in the center of a red circle, crossed out and presents it to the crowd. He indicates himself.
King Julien: I drew that, me! I did.
The crowd collectively groans.
Skipper: (Barely heard above the groaning) Aww man.
Mort: (Shocked) No… feet??!
Some of the animals begin to leave.
Skipper: (To Kowalski) Well, that’s five minutes of our lives we’re not getting back.
Skipper walks away.
Kowalski: Until I get my time machine fully functioning.
Kowalski follows Skipper.
King Julien: Wait! (Angrily) This is a very serious proclamation that I am proclaiming!
King Julien slaps the scroll onto the side of the volcano and points to it with both hands.
King Julien: Look! It is posted right here, on the plastic volcano! And anyone who dares to be touching my beautiful feets shall be banish-ed from my kingdom, FOREVER!
Maurice: (More quietly each time) Ever, ever, ever.
King Julien: What are you doing?
Maurice: Echoing you. For dramatic effect.
King Julien: Oh, nice I like it! Now, go to rebuilding my Super-Comfy-Pamper-Time-Floaty-Throne and make it floatier and SUPER-DUPER comfy.
Maurice walks off. Mort leans in towards King Julien’s feet.
Mort: (Sadly) Banished? Forever?
King Julien: FOREVER!
Maurice: (More quietly each time) Ever, ever, ever.
Scene III: The Lemur Habitat (Night)Edit
(Mort is seen trying to fall asleep. He looks at King Julien’s feet.
Mort: Must not think about feet. Must count... sheep.
(Mort lays down to sleep and dreams that he is in a meadow.)
Mort: Yay, sheep! (Sheep begin jumping over a small fence in front of him) One, two... (yawning) Three…
(In a puff of smoke, the sheep turn into King Julien’s foot.)
Foot: (With King Julien's voice) Feet, Mort. You must count feet!
Mort: Okay!
(Mort skips after the feet and wakes up hugging the real feet. Mort gasps and leaps away.)
Mort: (Scared and quietly) Oh no! Not the feet! But I must touch. No, no, no.
(Mort locks himself to a tree)
Mort: Oh, that’s good. Much better.
Scene IV: The Lemur HabitatEdit
(Mort again wakes up to find himself hugging Julien’s feet. Mort screams, causing Julien to wake up, screaming too.)
Julien: What in the feets are you doing?
Julien kicks Mort, causing the tree to which Mort is still chained to collide with the top of the Royal Bouncy, and come flying down to crush Julien.)
Mort: I... I... I... You... You... You...
Julien: You... You... You are hereby banish-ed from my kingdom forever! Maurice!
Maurice: (More quietly each time) Ever... ever... Wait! You mean that Mort is exiled? For eternity?
Julien: Forever or for eternity, I’m flexible, but the no feet-touching law must be of zero tolerance.
(Julien turns his back to Mort. Mort drags the tree off screen, crying)
Scene V: The ZooEdit
Mort is seen unchained from his tree, still walking slowly and sadly away. A foot poofs into existence in front of Mort.
Foot: You cannot escape us, Mort.
(Another foot appears)
Foot 2: We need hugs!
Mort begins swinging his arms at the imaginary feet.
Mort: Oh get away.
Marlene is confused by Mort’s behavior and walks over to talk to him.
Marlene: Hey hey, Mort. Yeah I heard about the whole foot banishing thing, and if there’s anything I can do—
Mort jumps into Marlene’s arms.
Mort: (Quickly) Trust me, cure me, fix me, save me!!!
Marlene: Whoa whoa, okay I’m an otter, not a miracle worker, but I do know someone who takes the hard cases.
Mort: (Brushes Marlene’s face with his tail) Yipee!
Scene VI: The Penguin HQEdit
Mort is seen drawing feet on the ground with blue chalk
Skipper: Negative Marlene, we’re not accepting new recruits at this time.
Marlene: Oh come on! Have a heart.
Skipper: No thank you! Mort would never pass our psych screening. How Rico slipped through is still shrouded in mystery.
Rico is seen inside the TV tapping his beak against the glass. Kowalski is taking notes. Rico waves and Private claps.
Rico: Ehhhyyyy!!!
Marlene: Mort really isn’t that bad, are ya Mort? Mort?
Mort is seen running into pairs of feet he has drawn on walls with chalk. Kowalski, Rico and Private are all watching intently.
Marlene: Okay, yeah, he is that bad. But that’s why he needs you! You’re the only one who can help him! You are a role model. You are a natural leader!
Skipper: (flattered) Well… guilty as charged.
Mort is stuck on the wall and twitching.
Mort: Please… help… me.
Skipper: Sad-eyes! Fall in, now.
Mort stands next to Skipper, at attention.
Skipper: Recruit, I’m going to mold you like a lump of wet clay.
Marlene: (leaving) Yeah… have fun with that.
Mort: Oh goodie, I’m wet clay!
Scene VII: Top of the Penguin HQEdit
Skipper and Mort are up top. Skipper blows a whistle and Mort runs. A board carving of a foot (if that's what that it) appears
Mort: What's that, Mr. Foot? You want a hug? Okay- OWWWW! (gets shocked and another carving comes up) Oh all right; hug then- OOOWW! (gets shocked again; another one comes in) Well if you must- OWWWW!
After another shocking Mort climbs on the monkey bars. Kowalski shows up with a down arrow sign, showing Rico putting another foot carving underneath the bars.
Mort: If you insist on hug... OWWWWW! (drops and gets shocked. Mort goes to Skipper dazed) Di-he-he-he-d I-I-I-I-I-I do-o-o-o-o go-o-o-o-o-o-od? (Skipper sighs)
Scene VIII: The Penguins HQEdit
Mort is sitting on a chair with Private as the pycodtrist.
Private: Say it with me: They're just feet, not love.
Mort: They're just feet, not love.
Scene IX: Top of the Penguin HQEdit
Skipper blows the whistle and Mort runs, coming to the electrical foot.
Mort: Hmm, what's that? You want a hug? OK- OWWW! (gets shock and another foot comes up) No! No hug for you! (runs into another foot) Say please. OWWWWW! (gets shocked again, making Skipper annoyed)
Scene X: The Lemur HabitatEdit
Julien is on his Super-Comfy-Pamper-Time Floaty Throne, sipping a smoothie. Maurice is putting more balloons on and inflating them.
Maurice: Oh, sure is empty around here without Mort.
Julien: Yes, and quiet.
Maurice: (More quietly each time) Quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet...
Julien: (a little upset) Yes. I do not miss him one little bit.
Maurice, surprised, lets go of the inflated balloon making it deflate, flying around the habitat.
Maurice: (serious) Now, your Majesty, you don't really mean...
Julien: Maurice, I am not hearing the phffft. Without the phffft, my Super-Comfy-Pamper-Time-Floaty-Throne would just sit here and be a stupid chair... on the ground. Phffft!
Scene XI: Top of the Penguin HQEdit
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