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Marlene: What in the world are you guys doing?
Skipper: I might ask you the same question, except for the guy part.

Private: Kowalski!
Kowalski: I’m coming, Private!
Marlene: Kowalski!
Kowalski: Marlene! (Gasps) Which one do I save? Think Kowalski, think!

(Kowalski begins working out a solution on a pad of paper.)

Skipper: (Disappointedly) No. Don’t think, man. Act. Let’s go, Rico!
Kowalski: Private’s part of the team. Then again, Marlene has vital information. Of course, Private does owe me five dollars.
Private and Marlene: Kowalski!
Kowalski: Nooooo! Curse you brain!


Skipper: You know, in Tasmania, cheating at Stomp The Wombat is a capital 
         crime.

Marlene: The new neighbors, they took Mort! He's gone!
[All gasp]
Julien: Who's Mort? Oh, my easel. Right. I too am gasping in horror, but on 
        the inside. Because, you know, I need that easel.

Skipper: Maurice, fill me in, three words or less.
Maurice: Well, well I...
Skipper: No capisce. Try four words.
Maurice: I don't think you...
Skipper: Make it five words.
Maurice: If you would just listen...
Skipper: All right, I'll give you six words, but we're wasting valuable time
         here.

[Skipper is pulling down a world map]
Skipper: OK, describe the enemy's terrain.
Marlene: It was jungly... so let's... let's think, that could be... they could be
         from where? South America? Africa? Asia? Maybe Australia?
Skipper: You gotta focus, Marlene! You just named four of the eight 
         continents.
[Maurice walks to the map]
Maurice: Uh,... there are only seven continents.
Skipper: I count Atlantis. Trust me, lemur, if you had my security clearance,
         you would too.
         [Affectionately taps his chest and lets the map roll up]

Skipper: This next game was invented by double-jointed Hungarian acrobats 
         from the Munich circus.

Marlene: I don't think these are the kind of creatures you can reason with.
Skipper: Don't worry, Marlene. Neither are we.

Kowalski: Time to listen to that gut. Even though technically a gut cannot
          vocalize... I'm doing it again!

Marlene: I'm just heading over the the reptile house to welcome the new 
         neighbors. No one's seen them yet. I figure they're just shy. You 
         want to come with?
Skipper: Not without the proper recon, Marlene. We could be dead a thousand 
         times over in that new habitat. Venomous vipers, bloodthirsty...
Private: Badgers?
Skipper: Flying piranha!
Marlene: Okay, yeah. Piranha don't fly.
Skipper: That's exactly what Manfredi and Johnson said back in Ecuador. We buried
         what was left of them with a teaspoon.

Julien: I would love to join you in the meeting of the neighbors, but I am far
        too busy with... Maurice, what am I far too busy with?
Maurice: Posing for your royal portrait.
Mort: I'm an easel.
Julien: Mort.
Mort: Yes?
Julien: Shut up a little, okay?
Mort: Okay.

Skipper: Marlene, I told you to leave this to us.
Marlene: No, you didn't.
Skipper: In your mind, maybe.

Julien: Why is Mort in the royal painting? Paint him out now before my
        eyes smell him forever!

Skipper: Pop quiz, troops! What can't we trust?
Kowalski: Three-day-old stir-fry mung beans.
Skipper: Right. What else can't we trust?
Private: Badgers!
Skipper: What?
Private: Maybe that's just me.

Kowalski: Unknown hostiles with tentacles and feet.
Skipper: Again? If I had a nickel for every time...

[Both Marlene and Private are trapped by tentacles; Kowalski can't decide 
which to save]
Kowalski: Private is part of the team. But Marlene has vital information. Then
          again, Private owes me five bucks...
Marlene: Kowalski!
Private: Kowalski!
[Both are pulled away]
Kowalski: No! Curse you, brain!

Julien: What is that hideosity?!
Maurice: That's Mort.
Julien: Mort?!
Mort: Yes?
Julien: What did I tell you?
Mort: ...Shut up a little? 

Skipper: Catch my drift? Listen to your gut.
[Kowalski strains to move his head toward his stomach]
Kowalski: Sorry, Skipper. That's an anatomical impossibility. 

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