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The Big Squeeze/Transcript

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The Big Squeeze - Title Card

Scene 1: Zoo Transfer Facility

A truck pulls up to the zoo transfer facility. The penguins slide over there and bounce off the wall and then hide behind a garbage can for cover. The penguins pop their head up on the side of the garbage can and look at the truck. Skipper see’s Alice coming so he pushes the other penguins’ heads back so she wouldn’t see them. Alice walks by them, unaware that they’re there. Kowalski pops a hand-held telescope around the garbage can to watch what’s going on. Alice was telling shouting directions to the driver.

Alice: Okay, you’re good.

The truck comes closer.

Alice: A little more…

Alice thought she saw something by the garbage can and didn’t notice that the truck was getting too close. Then she gets squashed by the vehicle. Alice puts her hands in front of her to stop from being squashed.

Alice: A little less!

Kowalski stops looking through the telescope.

Kowalski: Appears to be a Hoboken surprise.
Private: Ooh! Perhaps it’s a unicorn!
Skipper: Private, the transfer’s from New Jersey, not Rainbow Pixie Land.

Alice and the unknown zoo worker who talks on the walkie-talkie all the time carry a long crate away.

Walkie-talkie guy (vo): Alice, what’s in the box, anyway?
Alice: (on walkie-talkie) You don’t want to know.
Walkie-talkie guy (vo): Yeah, I probably do not.

Scene II: The Reptile House

Skipper and Kowalski slide towards the Reptile house and then go through the entrance. Kowalski looking through the hand-held telescope.

Kowalski: I see… increased security.
Skipper: (standing beside Kowalski) Intriguing. Go on.
Kowalski: (stops looking the telescope) It’s… It’s… It’s a…

Scene III: The Zooveneir Shop

Kowalski: … BOA.

The lemurs, chimpanzees, the other penguins, and Marlene just look at Kowalski, not saying anything. Phil scratches himself. Julien sits down on the floor.

Julien: Ooh!

Julien stands up

Julien: Boas are very festive.

Julien wraps his tail around his neck like a boa.

Julien: They frame the face in fabulousness.
Skipper: Not that kind of boa, Ringtail.
Kowalski: Member of the "genus constrictus realtighten eatus". I’ve worked up a rendering of the (he puts up a roll of paper on the cubicles) actual size of our new arrival.

Mason: (smirks, chuckling) Well, well, rather puny, yes?

Kowalski claps his flippers and then Private grabs the roll and then starts unrolling it. Private rolls it across the barrels, and then across the chimpanzee’s, and then finally reaches Kowalski after running across the whole room. Private pants and wipes his head and then Kowalski puts up the tail drawing on the cubicles. Everyone looks at how long the snake is.

Maurice: (scared) Uh, that’s a lot of snake.
Skipper: (brave) Especially when the crushing begins(He pushes one of his flippers with his other one making a bone craking sound while saying this.

Kowalski: Precisely.

Kowalski brings out his scratch-and-sniff guide to rainforest animals which hits Private in the face. Kowalski opens the book, revealing pictures of the boa and how it hunts.

Kowalski: As my scratch-and-sniff guide to rainforest animals clearly indicates, (starts pointing at the pictures) a boa will coil around its prey, squeeze it into unconsciousness, then swallow it… whole.

Skipper grabs the guide from Kowalski.

Skipper: Take a good whiff. That’s the smell of fear, gentlemen.

He shows the drawings to Julien, Maurice, and Mort. Julien acted like he was going to throw up, Mort acted like he loved it, and Maurice acted like it stank.

Kowalski: Technically, it’s snake bile, but point taken.

He takes the guide from Skipper. Marlene comes up

Marlene: Hey, hey. Look, I’m sure some boas are mean in the wild, but this is the zoo. Guys, you know, we’re neighbors.
Private: Right! And neighbors don’t eat neighbors.
Mort: I do! (shocking everyone) If my neighbor is a mango.
Skipper: (happy) If this snake tries anything cute, we’ll be on him like stink on a chimp.
Mason: I beg your pardon, sir. I believe you’re smelling my partner.

He points at Phil who has flies buzzing around him.

Scene IV: The Penguin Habitat

Skipper, Rico, and Private are entertaining the humans. Skipper and Rico were waving and Private was doing some neat tricks. Private slides close to the crowd.

Private: (happy) Thank you! You’re too kind.

Kowalski pops his head up from the security hatch with equipment on him.

Kowalski: Skipper! Intercepting an inter-zoo transmission.

Rico goes through the hatch and Skipper slide over to Private.

Skipper: (whispers) Keep dancing. It confuses the looky-loos.

Skipper goes through the security hatch. Private starts dancing for the humans happily. Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico listen to the radio.

Alice: (radio) It’s the lemurs. We lost one.

Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico get shocked look. They come outside and slide towards Private who’s still dancing.

Skipper: Take a bow, Private. Show’s over.

They dash off, confusing the audience.



Scene V: The Lemur Habitat

Skipper was sitting on one of the stools and Julien on another. Kowalski, Private, and Rico were standing.

Skipper: OK, from the beginning.
Julien: Yes, I noticed a chill in my feet. Then it hit me. Where’s Mort?
Kowalski: “Mort,” from the Latin root, “Morte,” as in… “dead.”
Skipper: Let’s not jump to conclusions until we rule out all out all other possibilities. Or find a body.
Julien: (sad) Who will bring to me my fruity smoothie with the teeny umbrella and twisty straw?

Maurice, who was standing behind the bar counter, snaps his figures.

Maurice: The smoothies! Julien did send Mort to get some pineapple from over by the reptile house.
Julien: (mad) Yeah, the geckos get all the good stuff.

Skipper jumps off the stool.

Skipper: Reptile house, eh? Gentlemen, I smell a rat. And it’s inside a snake.

Scene VI: The Reptile House

The penguins waddle through the Reptile house, passing Barry who croaks. They stop at a habitat with a boa constrictor inside.

Savio: Ah, the neighbors. I was hoping I would get a chance to eat you.
Skipper: (shocked) What'd he say?
Savio: I mean, “meet you.” Slip of the tongue.

Savio hisses.

Private: Oh, I know! I’ve put my foot in my mouth a time or two.

Skipper slaps Private.

Savio: Good dark meat ratio. (uses his tail to wipe his eye) How rude! I am Savio. And you are?
Skipper: Suspicious? We’re got a disappeared tiny, little lemur.

He uses his flippers to show the size of Mort.

Savio: I trust nothing tragic transpired.

Savio ducks his head behind his body.

Skipper: Tragic? Who said anything about tragic? Private, did you? Kowalski? No! No one mentioned tragic.
Savio: Gut feeling.

Something Mort-sized flows through Savio’s stomach.

Private: This should be easy enough to clear up. If you could just tell us, Savio, where were you between the hours of…now, and… sometime before now?

Skipper smacks his flipper against his head.

Skipper: Ugh!
Savio: Where would I be? (he hits his head against the glass) Where could I be? As you can see, I’ve no possible means of escape from this glass prison.

He uses his tail to tap the glass.

Skipper: Kowalski?

Kowalski slides towards the other side of the room and looks at a keypad.

Kowalski: Hmm, seems to be an encrypted keypad to control…

He slides back to them and looks at the habitat.

Kowalski: …Ah, state of the art electronic Magnalocks. His alibi would appear to be solid.

Kowalski hit’s the glass with his flippers in frustration.

Savio: There, you see? Not a guilty bone in my body.

He spits a bone out of his mouth, the bone sticks to the glass with spit around it. Savio wipes the bone off the glass with his tail and then clears his throat.

Savio: Now what say we put this unpleasantness behind us. You come inside for a bite…

Private was waddling toward Savio so he could go in, but Skipper puts his flipper in front of Private, stopping him from going any further.

Skipper: I wasn’t born yesterday.

Private sidesteps away from the others, looking at Skipper.

Skipper: If I was I’d be in diapers… (he looks down at himself, seeing if has any diapers on) which apparently, I’m not.

Rico babbles then they leave. Savio chuckles evilly.

Scene VII: The Penguin Habitat

Skipper paces back and forth pass a table where Rico and Private have fallen asleep on. Kowalski was still awake but looked tired.

Skipper: Let’s go through this one more time, Kowalski.
Kowalski: (yawns) As we’ve already established, our boa could not have escaped. His habitat is locked down tight.
Skipper: Locked down? Let’s look at those locks one more time, shall we?

Kowalski shakes his head.

Kowalski: Ugh!

Kowalski brings out the blueprints of the Reptile house.

Kowalski: Double forged titanium interlocking tumblers, openable only from the outside keypad.

Skipper notices something.

Skipper: Hello, what do we have here?

Skipper points at something on the blueprints.

Kowalski: Ventilation shaft… Oh, I suppose it’s possible.

Kowalski brings out a tong, using it on the blueprints. He puts the tongs away and then brings out a tape measure, using it on the blueprints. Kowalski puts it away and then brings out a clipboard, estimating to see if it was possible.

Kowalski: Ugh! Sorry Skipper. Too narrow. He might be able to squeeze his body, (he brings out the scratch-and-sniff guide to rainforest animals again) but with a bellyful of undigested prey, it would be all but impossible.

They suddenly hear Julien scream from a distance. Rico and Private wake up from the scream.

Scene VIII: The Lemur Habitat

The penguins enter the lemur habitat and jump on the lemur bouncy. They land where Julien is, with Julien staring at the ground.

Julien: (shocked) Somebody stole Maurice in my sleep.
Skipper: I’m sensing a pattern here, boys. It starts with a scream, and ends with a lemur biting the dust.

They hear Marlene scream from the distance.

Private: (frightened) It’s Marlene! She’s no lemur!

Private holds Kowalski from fright.

Kowalski: Well, it’s a complicated pattern.

They leave Julien to see if Marlene’s OK.

Scene IX: Marlene's Habitat

They slide into Marlene’s home cautiously. Marlene’s beach ball bounces by them.

Kowalski: We’re too late!

Rico see’s something and points at it while babbling. Skipper picks up something leathery.

Skipper: Kowalski, what does this look like to you?

Kowalski looks at it.

Kowalski: Inconclusive. (takes the piece of leather from Skipper) A fragment of shoe leather, perhaps synthetic…
Skipper: Ehhh! Wrong! Try snake skin!

Skipper walks away from Kowalski and then turns around to Kowalski, Rico, and Private.

Skipper: Boys, I’ll bet my left flipper (he puts up his left flipper) we find that snake out slithering for a snack.

Scene X: Reptile House - Savio's Cage

They appear in front of Savio’s habitat, with Savio inside.

Private: It’s a good thing you’re right-flippered, Skipper.

Skipper slaps Private.

Skipper: Rico, check structural integrity.

Rico nods and then regurgitates bomb planters on the four sides of the electronic Magnalocks. He puts a wire through them and then pulls down a switch which blows up around the habitat. The other penguins cover there ears. Smoke was everywhere and then it dissipated revealing the Magnalocks still intact.

Kowalski: Check.
Savio: Believe me, there are much more difficult things to swallow than my obvious innocence.

The hump shown earlier is seen again inside Savio’s stomach like he just ate something. Skipper notices it.

Skipper: My, my, my, someone looks… plump.
Savio: As do you, but do I make wild accusations? No. I find that distasteful.

Savio looks away from them. Private starts walking forward.

Private: Sorry, Savio, I keep telling them not to judge a book by its cover.
Savio: Indeed, words to live by. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and digest your meaty… (hisses) allegations.

Scene XII: Penguin HQ

The penguins put drawings of Marlene, Maurice, and Mort on the table.

Private: Perhaps it’s all just a coincidence that mammals began disappearing when Savio arrived.

Skipper runs over to Private.

Skipper: (sarcastically) Sure, Private. Maybe all the little mammals got pulled into a top secret little mammal meeting…

Kowalski was on the other side of the table.

Kowalski: …in that snake’s DIGESTIVE TRACT!!!!

Private almost faints but Skipper catches him before he falls. Julien was sitting on another side of the table holding a grape in one of his hands.

Julien: Whew! Thanks be to the food spirits, I am not a mammal. (eats the grapes)
Private: But you are a mammal.
Julien: No I am not!

Kowalski sticks a thermometer up Julien’s bottom and then takes it out. The thermometer shows him as warm blooded.

Kowalski: Hmm… Warm blooded, furry, belly button... (pointing at Julien's belly button) No question. Mammal.

Julien, creeped out by Kowalski, holds his tail.

Skipper: (rubs his beak) A taste for mammals, eh?

Scene XII: The Zoovenier Shop

Private was in a monkey suit, that was usually a toy with stuffing in it but they took it out. Rico was wiggling the tail.

Skipper: Excellente snake bait, young Private.
Private: Why do I always have to be the bait, Skipper?
Skipper: Because you’re gullible and expendable.

He puts his flipper behind Private’s back.

Skipper: That’s a twofer.

Scene XIII: The Zoo

Private, who is in the monkey suit, walks in the middle of the night holding a walkie-talkie. Skipper was hiding behind a bush that Private passed.

Skipper: Monkey it up a little! Come on, Private.

Private heard Skipper, so he started making monkey sounds. Skipper fires a grapple and then leaves Private.

Private: I could go for some ripe bananas, I could. And perhaps a go on my tire swing.

He makes monkey sounds and starts walking again. A silhouette of a snake slides behind a bench. Then Savio’s head appears behind Private and hisses and smiles. Savio ducks down from looking at Private. Kowalski, Rico, and Julien were hiding behind a brick wall and watching the area. They see Savio.

Kowalski: (talking to Private on walkie-talkie) It’s working! Oh and whatever you do, don’t look behind you.
Private: (talking into the walkie-talkie, nervous) Please hurry.
Skipper: (on walkie-talkie) Affirmative. We’re on the move.

Kowalski, Rico, and Julien jump over the brick wall and watch a snake body slither in front of their eyes. Skipper lands on a bench, above the snake body which is slithering by. Private shakes from fright. Rico, Julien, and Kowalski were shaking from fright as they take quiet steps. The snake still slithers and Kowalski, Rico, and Julien still watch to make sure it is Savio. But the snake coated body had no tail. They find out it was just Alice carrying a hose that has Savio’s body pattern on it.

Kowalski: We’ve been hoaxed! (speaks into the walkie-talkie) Private, come in! Come in!

Private’s walkie-talkie was just lying on the ground. Kowalski then gasps.

Scene: XIV: The Reptile House

Skipper pushes the doors open with much anger. Kowalski, Rico, and Julien walk in with angry expressions.

Skipper: Ah-ha!

Savio was in his habitat, but not with his tail around the branches as before. Skipper, Rico, Kowalski, and Julien walk up to him.

Savio: What will you accuse me of now? Eating a penguin in a monkey suit?
Julien: (chuckles) That’s a pretty good guess, there. (chuckles again) I wonder how he does that?
Savio: Yes, that would be a neat trick.

Savio uses his tail to open the air vent on top of his habitat and then starts putting some of his body through it.

Skipper: The air vent.

Skipper looks up at the air vent on the ceiling where another hatch that leads out right below the keypad.

Kowalski: But Skipper, I told you, it’s too small for him to slip through.

Savio’s tail opens the air hatch that is right above the keypad and then his tail slithers downward, toward the keypad.

Skipper: But he’s a long, long snake, isn’t that right, Savio?

Savio hisses but doesn't say anything. He starts pressing buttons on the keypad with his tail which makes beeping noises. Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and Julien were unaware of what Savio was doing.

Skipper: Why, I’ll bet he could make it clear to…

Skipper gets interrupted by Julien.

Julien: (noticing the beeping sound) Uh, what is that “beep, beep, beep” I am hearing?
Skipper: Make it clear to the…

Skipper gets interrupted again but by Kowalski.

Kowalski: (noticing the sound as well) I hear it, too.
Skipper: Make it…!

Savio’s tail pressed all the numbers on the keypad which showed that the combination was 412031. The electronic Magnalocks unlock. Savio then returned his tail back through the air vent. Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and Julien gasp and then the glass chamber unlocks, freeing Savio.

Skipper: Yeah, that was my theory.

Savio speeds toward them at which Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico dodge. Julien was too scared to move so Savio ties him up using his body so he can‘t escape.

Savio: Sometimes, only a real mammal will do.

Savio hisses.

Julien: Oh! So this is what being paralyzed by fear feels like. (chuckles in nervousness) Good to know.
Skipper: Rico!

Rico regurgitates a chainsaw and holds it. He jumps at Savio with the chainsaw to attack him with. Savio sees him and hits Rico with his tail. Rico losses the chainsaw and hit’s the glass of Barry’s habitat and slides of it. Barry croaks again. Kowalski and Skipper run over towards Savio and Julien.

Julien: (scared) Kowalski? Options?

Kowalski gets a clipboard and a pencil to write down some options. But he stops and looks at his pencil. He throws away his clipboard and runs over to Savio and Julien. As Savio was about to eat Julien, Kowalski puts the pencil inside Savio’s mouth stopping him from eating Julien. Skipper runs over to Julien to free him.

Kowalski: Yes! The pen is mightier then the…

Savio breaks the pencil.

Kowalski: Of course, that was a pencil. Pen would have been better.

Scene XV: The Zoo

Skipper and Kowalski burst open the doors of the Reptile house, pulling Julien along because he couldn’t move out of fear. Savio slithers after them and catches up to them quickly.

Savio: He’s slowing you down.

Savio grabs one of Julien’s feet and flings him up in the air. Julien screams as he’s swallowed by Savio.

Skipper: (shocked) Ringtail!

Scene XVI: Inside Savio's Stomach

Julien slides down the inside of Savio’s stomach. Julien finally stops sliding and lands in front of Mort, Marlene, Maurice, and Private (who was still in the monkey suit).

Mort: Yay! King Julien got eaten up, too.
Private: (sadly) Oh. I suppose some books can be judged by their cover, after all.
Maurice: When the cover is snakeskin.

Julien stands up.

Julien: Ugh! It’s disgusting and smelly and slimy!
Mort: And snaky!

Maurice pounds his fist against the inside of Savio’s stomach.

Maurice: GET US OUTTA HERE!!!!
Marlene: Skipper, he’ll have a plan. He’s always got a plan!

Scene XVII: The Zoo

Kowalski, Skipper, and Rico were looking at Savio and Savio was looking at them.

Kowalski: Got a plan?
Skipper: No!

Marlene: (inside Savio) Help!

Savio looks at his stomach.

Savio: You know, I think my eyes were bigger then my stomach on that one.

Savio smiles evilly and hisses.

Skipper: OK, got something. It’s a multi-stage plan. Phase one… RUN!

Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico start sliding away from Savio. Savio slithers after them.

Skipper: DIVERSION!

Skipper hits a garbage can which lands in the path of Savio. Savio slithers over the garbage can.

Skipper: OBSTACLE!

Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico put a hotdog cart in front of Savio’s path. They slide off again. Savio knocks it away with his head.

Scene XVIII: Outside The Zoo Cafeteria

Skipper: SERPENTINE!

They slide around the zoo diner tables. Savio does the exact same thing as them.

Kowalski: We can’t defeat a serpent with SERPENTINE!

They were still chased by Savio as they head for a brick wall.

Skipper: JUMP!

Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico jump over the brick wall. Savio follows them inside.

Scene XIX: The Elephant Habitat

He finds them standing in front of him with smiles.

Skipper: You like mammals, right? Meet Burt.

He points upwards where Burt the elephant is looking mad.

Burt: (angry) The world’s largest land mammal, FYI.
Savio: (nervous) No, really, I could not eat another thing.

Burt sticks his face in front of Savio.

Burt: You got that right!

Savio tries to retreat but Burt grabs Savio’s body with his trunk and starts slamming him on the ground back and forth. Rico was watching very closely with happiness. Skipper put out his flipper to Kowalski. Kowalski high-fives Skipper. Burt spins Savio in the air using his trunk. Then he slams Savio down over the brick wall. Savio was dazed and Burt grabs Savio’s tail.

Burt: Ooh, I’ll give you such a pinch!

He pulls Savio’s tail against the fence which brought all the animals he had ate, out of his mouth. Julien, Maurice, Marlene, Mort, and Private come out and land on the ground very hard.

Maurice: Tell me we came out of the mouth…

Julien and Marlene look at Maurice.

Scene XX: The Zoo

Alice was moving the crate Savio was in before, into the truck. Savio jumped out of the crate ferociously, but Alice wasn’t scared of him.

Alice: This isn’t New Jersey, tough guy.

She closes the back door with Savio’s tail stuck in the door. The delivery truck drives off with Savio, away from the zoo.


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