Scene I: Lemur Habitat
King Julien: AAH! Maurice! Mort! Come quickly!(Maurice and Mort arrive) This kiki-tiki throne has viciously attacked my magnificent booty with this stabbiness. (Has splinter on butt)
Maurice: It's just a splinter.
Mort: A teeny-tiny-teeny splinter.
King Julien: It is attempted booty-cide!(Maurice and Mort try to pull splinter off) Spread the word! Your king is needing a brand new throne. (Maurice and Mort crash after splinter is released)
Scene II: Penguin HQ
Skipper is counting salt grains.
Skipper: 678,443, 678,444, and 678,445 grains of salt in the salt shaker. Kowalski, make a note of that for inventory. How's that pepper count coming?
Rico sneezes, blowing the pepper away.
Skipper: You done?
Rico: Umm, uh-huh.
Rico sneezes again, this time knocked backwards, hitting the walls until hits a brick in the wall that opens up a trapdoor. Rico immediately runs away from the trapdoor as a toilet comes out of it.
Skipper: Kowalski, that can't be what I think it is... Can it?
Kowalski: I'm afraid so, Skipper. It's S.-T.-A.-N.-K. - S.T.A.N.K.!
Skipper: After all these years, I tried so hard to forget.
Private: Right. So... What's a S.T.A.N.K.?
Kowalski holds up a file that reads "S.T.A.N.K.".
Kowalski: Project: Super Toxic Aromatically Noctious Kaboom-boom. It was... it was a horrible---!
Skipper: A stink bomb, Private!
Private: Acronym is not very good either.
Kowalski: But not just any stink bomb, the grand momma to end all stink bombs, it was designed to lock on to a target & hold it their until the order cord detonated.
Skipper: Private, putrid perfume of Project: S.T.A.N.K. is a bazillion times worse than anything you've ever smelled.
Kowalski: Bazillion isn't a real number, Skipper.
Skipper: Is too, International Numbers Council just declared it.
Kowalski: And that's not a real council.
Skipper: Is too, International Council's council just declared it, just now.
Private: So who was S.T.A.N.K. supposed to lure into it's foul seat?
Skipper: Dr. Blowhole.
Kowalski: And that's where the whole project went wrong. Turns out dolphins don't use toilets.
Skipper: Not when they've got the Seven Seas to soil.
Private: What? Really?
Skipper: Oh yeah, all the sea creatures do it, fish, whales, lobsters, octopuses...
Private: Ugh! Oh I'm never swimming in the ocean again.
Skipper: Any-who S.T.A.N.K. was a bust. Total waste of a perfectly good toilet.
Skipper kicks the S.T.A.N.K., causing it to activate.
Kowalski: Uh oh.
Skipper: Kowalski? Is this thing still active?
Kowalski: Apparently, but we should be safe as long as we don't disturb it's fragile core.
(Rico sighs with relief, and the S.T.A.N.K.'s level rises)
Kowalski: By doing things like breathing.
Rico covers his beak.
Skipper: Men, we've gotta get this S.T.A.N.K. out of here, ASAP!
Private: But where do we take it, Skipper?
Skipper: Somewhere uncivilized. Uninhabited. A wasteland of inhuman misery.
Kowalski pulls down a map.
Kowalski: Garden State Parkway Rest-stop?
Skipper: Righto! They'll never notice the difference.
Scene III: Central Park Zoo, near the Penguin Habitat
Rico moves the S.T.A.N.K. with a crane. Private is on it as Rico moves the S.T.A.N.K. to a small blue truck.
Kowalski: Gently Rico, the tiniest movement could initiate the detonation timer, we have to be very, very, very careful.
Rico: Yeah, yeah.
A fly comes around and Rico tries to swat it, accidentally hitting one of the levers, causing the S.T.A.N.K.'s level to increase as the crane swings it out of control. The other penguins continuously duck. Rico drops it on the truck and the S.T.A.N.K.'s level increases again.
Scene IV: The Lemur Habitat
Maurice brings a portable bamboo chair.
King Julien: No!
Mort brings a wooden stool.
King Julien: No!
Maurice brings a cactus.
King Julien: No! My new royal throne must be something that really "Wows" my breath away. I'm looking for something big, something shiny-
The Penguin Car goes by, followed by the penguins' truck with the S.T.A.N.K. while Julien stares at it mouth wide-open.
King Julien: And something with cool blinking lights along the side like that!
As the car and truck exit the Central Park Zoo, the lemurs run after them.
King Julien: My throne! Where are you taking my new royal throne?!
Scene V: Central Park
END OF ARTICLE