(Private yelling) Skipper: Please, he's just a boy!
Julien: I want to watch animals on the computer. Well, I want to watch me on the computer, you know. Eh, what is a computer? Mort: I like computers! Julien: So you know? Mort: No, but I don't have to know... to like!
Marlene: A computer is a machine the people use to avoid work, mainly by watching silly little videos. Maurice: You're saying those cameras are there so the whole world can watch us? Skipper: Like hawks! Kowalski: Except for the swooping down and devouring us part. Private: Hopefully.
Julien: Tell me more about this "People want to watch me" thing. Marlene: They get on the internet and vote for their favorite animal. You know, back in my old aquarium, I was voted most popular three years in a row. Julien: Which is not interesting to me because it is not about me. See how that works? Marlene: Maybe you didn't hear me. [Pulls out three trophies] Marlene: Three-time national internet popularity champion right here! Julien: [Seeing his reflection on one of the trophies] Ooh, I can see me, but wider. I would very much like to have it! Marlene: Since I'm no longer in competition - scandal, long story - I can help you, if you want. Julien: Silly otter. I do not need this thing called help. Marlene: Mmm, okay. If you change your mind, you know where to find me. Julien: Yes, yes, but I don't change my mind. I have people for that.
Julien: I can feel my interweb popularity skyrocketing!
Julien: Marlene, what are you doing here? Marlene: I live here? Julien: Really? Who knew? I didn't. Marlene: Julien, you never visit. You must really be stinking up the internet. Julien: Yes... I mean, no! I could not be more popularlest. Everybody is loving the king that is me. Marlene: Okay, I'll let you get back to that. Julien: Yes, I guess I really should... They hate me! They hate me! I must have the shiny trophy, and that roly-poly penguin is hogging all the glory that should be the king's! Help me! Please, please! I'll say it one more time, Please! Marlene: Okay, since you are pathetically begging. Julien: I'm not sure I would say pathetic. Marlene: I would. Julien: All right, it's just a word. Help me now. Marlene: Okay, here's what I see. Lights, music, artsy hats, a performance that'll knock'em dead! Julien: Yes! And if they're dead, they can't vote for that ridiculous penguin.
Skipper: Kowalski, recon. What do you see? Kowalski: [with lens-cap over binoculars] Not sure. The enemy must have some sort of cloaking device. Skipper: [Removes lens cap] How about now?
Skipper: We don't have much time. Kowalski, counter-spying scenario, si'l vous plait. [Kowalski draws up a plan and shows it to Skipper] Skipper: Outstanding! [camera moves] Skipper: Blast! The enemy saw it. Better think up another plan. [Kowalski draws another plan] Skipper: Oh, even better than the first one! [Camera moves] Skipper: Blast! The enemy saw this one too.
Skipper: This madness ends now! Private: Hello, Skipper. Care for a bite? Skipper: We're busting you out, Private. Private: Oh, I don't think that's possible, Skipper. Between the slipping and the falling I'm booked solid. Skipper: Just as I feared. You've been brainwashed. Private: I've been brainwashed? Skipper: Yes, you've been brainwashed. Private: [droning] Brainwashed. Skipper: You don't want your brain washed. Private: I don't want my brain washed.
Skipper: Here's the plan: we give them zip. Nobody move a muscle. Private: Uh, Skipper? I-I really need to... Skipper: Go, go, go! [Private leaves; offscreen toilet flush; Private returns] Private: Much better. Thank you.
Skipper: Hold formation! [Cut to night time; all are asleep] Skipper: [Yawning] Hold... formation. Just a few more years of this and we're in the clear.
Private: [starting to crack with hunger] The tastiness! Skipper: We're losing Private. Rico, talk some sense into him. [Rico slaps Private] Private: Thanks, sir. Skipper: I knew you'd listen to reason.
Skipper: Glad to have you back, Private. Private: Thanks, Skipper. Although I do miss the Slippy lifestyle. Skipper: Still a little brainwashed, I see? Rico? [Rico slaps Private] Private: Much better, Skipper.
Skipper: Don't you get it? They're trying to get inside our heads, stealing our secrets. Marlene: Wait, what? Skipper: Stealing our secrets! Marlene: No, they're not. It's just for fun. Skipper: They've gotten to you! There's no one we can trust, boys. Rico! [Rico regurgitates a smoke screen bomb; they escape under the cover of the smoke]
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