Rat King: Take everything that ain't nailed down... and then take the nailed stuff too! Ha!
Kowalski: (holding the binoculars the wrong way) I estimate the target to be approximately 17 miles... (Private flips the binoculars, Kowalski realizes his mistake) oh, make that 17 feet.
Skipper: In order to coach you, I need to know what we're dealing with. Take Rico, for example. (Rico is shown juggling a crowbar, a knife and a bomb) He's clearly a world-class psychopath. So we just kinda took that ball and ran with it.
Rico: (catches bomb on head) Ta-ta for now!
(The bomb goes off in background, and Rico is waddling around and smouldering)
Roger: A mind-switching machine. Hmmm... is this gonna hurt?
Kowalski: Just a little pinch... followed by the brief sensation of a thousand suns exploding in your skull.
Roger: Do I get a lollipop?
Skipper: It's 100% fool-proof!
Kowalski: More accurately it is 2.7% foolproof. There's a 97.3% chance that this will backfire and result in a horrific abomination that will be an affront to the most elemental laws of nature and the universe.
Skipper: I like those odds.
Man: MY CAR!!!