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Julien: Maurice, there are Morts here, there and everywhere! I must be dreaming! The most horrible dream inside my head! Quick, pinch me! Now bite me! Now slap my face and spank my right buttock!
Marlene: What's up with all the commotion? Skipper: Unknown. I'm still waiting for my away team to report before declaring def-con red. Marlene: Uh-huh. Real quick: What exactly is a def-con red? Skipper: Classified. Just hope you never live to see one, sister.
[Popping sounds are coming from a crate] Skipper: Evasive action. We have enemy movement. Private: Skipper, we're taking fire! Skipper: We're also giving some. Right, Rico? [Rico spits out a flame thrower and aims it at crate] Skipper: Steady, boys. Get ready to toast this marshmallow! [Crate opens to reveal Julien with a popcorn container] Julien: Ha ha! Popcorn anyone? It's fresh. Private: Julien? Kowalski: How did he get here? Julien: I mailed myself super platinum premier overnight express. This is how a king is to be rolling.
[the penguins are inside a box mailed to the plush factory] Skipper: Kowalski, report. Kowalski: It's dark. Skipper: I concur. Rico, weapons check. [Sound of Rico regurgitating several items] Skipper: Outstanding! Private, sound off. Private: Uh... Are we there yet? Skipper: Not yet, Private. Wait for it... Wait for it... Aaand... Move out, now! [They storm out; they are still at the mailbox] Skipper: Right. Back in the box.
Julien: Now, who has the honor of carrying my luggage? Skipper: Rico, stamp his royal highness "return to sender." [Rico wraps Julien in bubble wrap] Julien: Okay, you win. Forget the luggage.
Skipper: [On a conveyor belt] Kowalski, hit the kill switch! [Kowalski pushes a button; a smashing device is activated] Skipper: Kill the hit switch! [Gets hit by device] Skipper: [Dazed] Switch the kill hit!
Mason: Right, on to new business. Please refrain from yanking the hats off visitors when they stroll past your habitats. There are legal issues, and more importantly, it's just plain rude. [Phil signs] Well, of course we can still fling poo at them. That's tradition.
Julien: What have I done, Maurice? I already miss having that annoying Mort around so that I can hate him.
Julien: No need to drop to your knees to thank and worship me.
Marlene: [about a stack of Private plush dolls] Check it out. Looks like the zoo has a new best seller. Skipper: Well, will you look at that. Kudos, Private. [Slaps Private on the back; he falls over, revealing that he's actually a plush doll] Skipper: Private? Private? Private: [Back at the factory, running on the conveyor belt] Hello? Anybody?
END OF ARTICLE