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Scene I: Penguins HQ/Habitat, Dawn
The sun is rising on New York. Kowalski, Private, and Rico are all seen asleep in their bunks, Skipper however is not seen in his bunk. The alarm in the Penguins' HQ goes off, waking everyone in a frenzy.
Private: What? What is it?! I didn't touch it, I swear!
Speak and Spell: EVACUATE! EVACUATE!
Kowalski: We're under attack!
Kowalski, Private, and Rico climb up and out of the hatch to confront their "attacker." Once they reach the surface of their Penguin Habitat, they are continuously pelted with a barrage of Tennis Balls being fired by a Tennis Ball Machine. Someone presses the button to stop the machine from firing at the Penguins. The other Penguins stop shielding themselves and notice Skipper standing by the machine.
Skipper: Gentlemen, if this had been an actual Tennis Ball Machine up-rise, we would've lost! Game, set, and match.
Kowalski: This was a drill?
Rico chuckles weakly at Skipper's drill.
Private: Sorry, Skipper...
Skipper: Don't be sorry, Private. Be alert! You never know when our enemies are about to--
Suddenly, Skipper is cut off as all four penguins are suddenly trapped inside four cages that have imprisoned them.
Skipper: --WHOA, what in the ham-steak?!
Private: Skipper, is this part of the drill?
Scene II: Doctor's Office
Inside the Doctor's Office, Alice has all four Penguins tagged with a red ankle tag for their routine visit.
Alice: There you go, Doc. Four Penguins, ready for treatment.
Doctor: Why thank you, Alice.
Skipper: This is just a routine visit to the Doctor. Turn and cough boys, turn and cough.
Doctor: Okay, who's my first victim?
The Doctor turns around to reveal he's holding a needle. Skipper looks terrified and squawks in fear at it.
Skipper: That's a big Needle!
The Doctor takes Private out of his cage.
Doctor: Lets start with you, friend!
Private whimpers as the Doctor carries him into the room across from the Penguins.
Skipper: (nervous) This uh, is all routine men! Nothing to uh--
Skipper: (panicked) Nothing to fear here! Just uh, routine visit! Totally normal! Don't uh, don't uh, don't uh... Panic Men!! KEEP IT TOGETHER!!!
Kowalski: (awkwardly) Um... okay?
The Doctor grabs Kowalski from out of his cage.
Skipper: Be strong, Kowalski! Be strong!
Kowalski salutes to Skipper just as he and the Doctor disappear behind the door to the next room.
Kowalski: Good Galileo! GALILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Skipper expression turning into a sickened on at Kowalski's cries.
Skipper: Man's a butcher... Rico Feedback! Move man, MOVE!!
Skipper tries to hop away while in his cage but only hops a short distance.
Doctor: Alrighty! You're up pal!
The Doctor grabs Rico and takes him into the room across from Skipper, Rico gives a blood-curling scream of pain that finally causes Skipper to look horrified. Desperately, Skipper tries to open his cage to escape as he hears the doctor coming closer. Eventually, Skipper opens the latch on the cage and slides to a shelf near the door to the other room just as the Doctor enters.
Doctor: Okay, and now-- oh!
The Doctor faints and collapses, after Skipper has now knocked him out cold with the back of his flipper.
Skipper: Think again Dr. Deranged! I don't do needles!
Skipper hops out of the office through a nearby, open window.
Scene III: Penguins HQ
Back at the Penguins' HQ, Private and Rico are rubbing their backsides, indicating where they got their needle taken.
Private: I don't mean to be cheeky, but why did the Doctor have to give the shot in the bum?
Kowalski: Our fleshy buttocks make ideal distribution points for injective medicine. (winces in pain) Unfortunately...
Rico resumes rubbing his backside and then starts groaning in pleasure, he proceeds to rub it against the floor while Private and Kowalski talk.
Private: Listen to us carrying on, it was just a little pin-prick! Skipper would be ashamed of us.
Kowalski: Yes, I expect him to drop through that hatch any moment and calls us a bunch of "Whiny Babies!"
Skipper burst in through the hatch in a panicked frenzy.
Skipper: Look out, men Look out! Our entire operation has been compromised!
Private: Is-is this another drill?
Skipper: Negative! All you need to know is that we've got to-- (presses a button on the Speak and Spell)
Speak and Spell: EVACUATE! EVACUATE!
The alarm in the Penguins' HQ sending the other Penguins scurrying around.
Skipper: Pack light! Only the essentials!
In a panic, Private and Kowalski run into each other while they're holding fish, causing it to fly everywhere.
Skipper: In less than 2 minutes, we leave this base... Forever!
Rico presses a button on the Speak and Spell.
Speak and Spell: FOREVER.
Scene IV: The Zoo
On the Zoo Grounds, Alice is patrolling the Habitats looking for the Penguins while she's talking to a co-worker on a walkie-talkie.
Alice: I've got the Zoo in Total Lock down! Nobody gets in, nobody gets out!
Radio Guy: Is that really necessary, Alice?
Alice: YES! I'm telling you this Penguin is a tricky one!
As they're talking, the Penguins slide past Alice behind her back and around the corner to hide again.
Skipper: Lock down! They're on to me!
Skipper remembers whom he's fooling and turns to see the other Penguins behind him.
Skipper: --I mean... Us!
Kowalski: This complicates our escape considerably.
Skipper looks are and notices a Hotdog Cart next to Marlene's habitat.
Skipper: Hotdog Cat and 3 o'clock, roll-out.
The Penguins slide towards the underside of the Hotdog Cart, Rico knocks it open and the Penguins jump in and hide inside it as Rico closes the door behind them.
Scene V: Hotdog Cart
The Penguins are now inside the Hotdog cart, which is completely dark.
Skipper: Rico, lights!
Rico regurgitates a flashlight, and now we see the Penguins sitting together.
Skipper: Kowalski, options?
As Kowalski is giving suggestions on what to do, he shows illustrations to his corresponding ideas.
Kowalski: We'll need a diversion, I suggest releasing the Spider Monkeys! Bedlam is their middle name!
Skipper: They never disappoint!
Kowalski: Amid the chaos, we escape through the South Entrance.
Skipper: Good! And then?
Kowalski: Then we get jobs as Holiday Store Displays, when we've earned enough money, we build a new secret lair! one with Laser Beams!
Private: Ooh! Laser Beams!
Kowalski's sketches end as Rico waves around the flashlight and makes buzzing noises, imitating a laser.
Skipper: Solid Plan Kowalski, I dig it!
Private: Me too, but I do have one question
Skipper: Shoot, little Private!
Private: Uh, didn't you get your shot, Skipper?
Skipper: (becomes panicked and defensive) Uh... yeah. Yeah! Of course I did! What could possibly make you think of such a thing?
Private: (points at Skipper's leg) The Doctor didn't take your anklet tag.
Rico shines the light at the tag on Skipper's leg, then he shies it back on Skipper, now the Penguins are suspicious of Skipper's actions and Skipper looks guilty.
Skipper: (sighs) I can't lie to you, men, we're leaving this zoo because I'm a--FRAHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY!
Kowalski: You're a "frayayayayaya?"
Skipper: No I'm a--FRAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Kowalski: I'm not familiar with their term.
Skipper: I'm a--FRUGALUGALUGALUGALUGA!
Private: It sounds like he's trying to say he's... afraid.
Rico scoffs at Private's suggestion.
Kowalski: Private, that is the most absurd, ridiculous, nonsensical--!
Skipper: (interrupting him) No, Private's right. We're leaving the zoo because... I'm afraid to get a shot.
Kowalski, Rico, and Private gasp in shock at Skipper revealing he's trypanophobic.
Private: Actually I kinda suspected...
Kowalski: (tries to be comforting of Skipper's fear) Oh Skipper, there's nothing to fear from a visit to the Doctor!
Private: Except his big, sharp Needle! And its slow burn with pain that--
Kowalski makes an aggravated groan at Private for his description of the Needle.
Private: --That doesn't feel as bad as it feels...
Skipper lowers his head with guilt.
Private: We'll be at your side, every step of the way!
Rico: Yeah yeah yeah!
Feeling better and more confident, Skipper gets up and makes a confident sigh.
Skipper: Gentlemen, it's an honor to serve with you!
With Skipper's confidence renewed, Kowalski bursts the underside of the Hotdog Cart open.
Kowalski: C'mon, it's time to stop running!
The Penguins hop out of the Hotdog Cart and look for Alice.
Scene VI: The Zoo
The Penguins slide next to a corner and they peek out to see Alice.
Private: There she is!
Alice is seen looking for Skipper, looking up in the sky. She then walks over and looks inside of a trash can.
Kowalski: Just waddle over and turn yourself in. Nothing to it, eh, Skipper?!
Skipper is gone.
Rico starts grunting and gesturing towards an object. The other penguins look and see Skipper climbing over a wall in a desperate attempt to escape.
A long chase ensures between Skipper and the other penguins, whom are chasing after him. Skipper looks terrified and threatening trying to lose the other Penguins. The other penguins notices a Mort thumbs-up that's pointing to the right, prompting them to head off that way. Skipper pops out of the Mort thumbs-up and runs off in the other direction of the Penguins. Skipper is then being chased by the Penguins again next to the Elephant Habitat. Skipper is seen holding some peanuts and he scatters them in front of Burt, who notices the peanuts and inhales them through this trunk. Burt accidentally sucks Private into his trunk, who struggles to to free himself as Kowalski and Rico stop to try and rescue Private. Burt notices the Penguins on his trunk and gets annoyed, then he proceeds to blow them out of his trunk and away. Skipper notices the other Penguins being blown away and in front of his and turns and heads off into the other direction. Later, Skipper is seen poking out from a lamp post and smiles knowing the coast is clear. Suddenly just as Skipper heads back the HQ, the other Penguins pounce on his and ties him up. The other penguins carrying the tied up Skipper on a staff and head off to the Doctor's, but as they pass a bush, Skipper is gone again and Julien is tied up in his place, to the other Penguins' shock. Skipper is seen being chased again by the other penguins, which leads them all to the Ostrich habitat. Kowalski looks under the Ostrich to see if Skipper is there but he is not. As Kowalski leaves, the Ostrich makes an uncomfortable squawk and gets up see what made her do that. Skipper pops out of one of her eggs, he salutes her and runs away as the Ostrich makes a confused look at the 4th wall. Later, the other Penguins corner Skipper inside the Kangaroo Habitat. Cornered, Skipper grabs two leaves off a tree and does a seductive and erotic dance to distract or seduce the Penguins but with no success.
Kowalski: You REALLY don't wanna get that shot, do you?
Skipper abandons the leaves and runs away again. Alice is seen riding her cart looking for Skipper, whom is perched in a relaxed pose on top of the vehicle as it's moving. the other Penguins surround Skipper and Skipper gets up and prepares to battle them. Skipper kicks Private in the chest, nearly knocking him off the moving Cart. Kowalski and Rico charge at Skipper, but Skipper hops behind them, grabs Kowalski by his legs and throws him at Rico, knocking them both off the Cart. Private, whom is still on the cart, gets up, narrowly avoiding being seen by Alice. Private then throws himself at Skipper, knocking off Skipper balance and forcing him into holding onto the ledge of the Cart's roofing while Private is holding onto Skipper's tag. Eventually, the tag pulls off, knocking Private off Skipper and having him land on top of Kowalski and Rico.
Private: I don't think, we're going to catch him.
Kowalski: Clearly, he is the master and we, his unworthy students.
Kowalski: (gets up) If we don't find an answer soon, Skipper may leave the Zoo grounds... Forever.
Rico pulls out the speak and spell and tosses it away when it's done.
Speak and Spell: EVACUATE!
Private: We can't lose Skipper! There must be someway! (notices Skipper's anklet tag) Hey! Alice is looking for a Penguin wearing an ankle tag right?
Kowalski: Private, You're not thinking--
Private: Indeed I am! I think...
Kowalski: Well if you are thinking what I think you're thinking, I think it could be risky!
Private: (puts on Skipper's tag) If it means getting the Skipper back, it'll all be worth it!
Alice is seen walking and talking on her walkie-talkie, looking defeated.
Alice: (sighs) Okay, here's what I'm thinking, we change the Zoo records to say there are only 3 Penguins...
Alice looks down and notices Private wearing Skipper's ankle tag. Private wiggles it at her to convince her.
Alice: Hold that thought! (tosses the walkie-talkie aside and grabs Private) YOU! FREEZE!! (picks up Private) Huh, I thought you were taller?
Alice stretches Private's neck, causing him to groan in pain to see if he resembles Skipper.
Alice: Oh well... (Alice walks away with Private)
Kowalski: Yes! Private's plan is working!
Kowalski and Rico high-five
Scene VII: Chimpanzee Habitat
Inside the Chimpanzee Habitat, Mason and Phil are seen playing Checkers. Phil moves one of his pieces and makes a confident gesture towards Mason.
Mason: Phil I don't know how to say this to you... There is no "checkmate" in checkers.
Phil makes a disappointed and angry face as he gestures to Mason again.
Mason: (gasps) You groom your Mother with those hands?!
Alice: (walks by while holding Private) All the trouble you caused, I should get hazard pay!
Skipper suddenly bursts in on Phil and Mason's game of Checkers and notices Alice carrying Private.
Skipper: (touched by Private's actions) Private's sacrificing himself... for me!
Mason: (impressed at Skipper in his habitat) I say, how long have you been under there?
Skipper: 2 shots in one day! Boy's not gonna sit for weeks!
Skipper: Private pulled the old "Switcheroo" on Alice. She thinks he's me, and he's gonna take my shot.
Phil gestures at Skipper while Mason translates.
Mason: Oh dear, Phil says if Private has already had one shot, a second one could make him quite ill... Or worse.
Now concerned and guilty for what Private is doing for him. Skipper realizes what must be done and heads off to the Doctor's Office.
Scene VIII: Doctor's Office
Inside the Doctor's office, Alice places Private inside of a cage.
Alice: Doc? Hey Doc! I got your missing Penguin!
Private gives a sad sigh. Private then looks out the video and sees Skipper.
Private: Skipper?! What are you doing here?
Skipper: Saving you, from saving me!
Skipper slides off the window and towards Private's cage, opening it.
Private: But it's alright, I don't mind taking another shot. I could always, "Turn the other cheek!" (giggles)
Skipper: You'll mind if it makes you sick! Or worse...
Private: How worse?
Skipper: Y'know, the chimps didn't say. I assumed you'd grow a second head or something...
Private: I don't want a second head!
Skipper: Then hurry man! The Doc will be here any second!
As Skipper says this, he takes off the ankle tag on Private and tosses Private himself towards the window. Private however hits the wall and falls off. He recovers and just out the window but stops before heading back to HQ.
Private: You know Skipper, none of us think any less of you for being afraid.
Skipper: Well I do. My fear almost hurt a friend. Now get out of here soldier!
Private smiles reassuringly to Skipper and slides out the window. Skipper closes the gate with him inside the cage. Skipper places the ankle tag back on his leg just as the Doctor enters. Skipper makes a very uneasy smile.
Doctor: Well there you are my little friend! (opens the cage) Now please hold still, this won't hurt at all.
As the doctor give Skipper his shot, the scene changes to show the entire Zoo and Skipper's scream of pain scares away some crows.
Scene IX: Penguin Habitat
With Skipper done taking his needle, he is met by his comrades on their habitat.
Skipper: Actually it was excruciating, but it could've been worse. It's funny how fear feeds on itself! Like an engorged tick! Ripe with blood ready to burst into a shower of--!
Private: (grunts with disgust at Skipper's description) Skipper, please!
Skipper: Oh, sorry men!
Kowalski: Point is, fear of medical professions is completely unwarranted. Yes the benefits to one's health and well being is simply too--
Alice comes by their habitat.
Alice: Looks like you Penguins are due for a visit to the dentist.
Kowalski: (horrified) THE DENTIST?!!
Kowalski makes a very feminine scream of horror as he pushes past the other Penguins and jumps into the water, while Skipper, Private, and Rico look on in confusion.
Private: But we don't have teeth.