Scene I: Penguin HQ
Skipper: Kowalski, just what are we looking at here?
Kowalski: Isn't it obvious?
Private: Looks like a regular old fish to me.
Kowalski: That's because it is.
Skipper: Fantastic. Thanks for clearing that up, Kowalski. Meeting adjourned.
Kowalski: No, wait! It's a regular fish now, but when I zap it with my super ray, it will be a super fish. When we eat the super fish, we will get stronger bones, denser muscle mass, and best of all, remarkably shiny feathers.
Skipper: Aces, Kowalski! And here I thought you've finally cracked. [to Rico] Keep an eye on him. I think he's finally cracked.
Scene 2: Lemur Habitat
Scene 3: Gorilla Habitat
Bada: Yo, Bing.
Bing: Yeah, Bada?
Bada: We got us a trespasser.
Bing: Maybe is a thief. You know what we do to thieves around here?
Mort: Huggies and kissies?
Bada: No. Thieves get bounced. [bounces Mort out of the gorilla habitat]
Scene 4: Penguin HQ
Scene 5: Lemur Habitat
Scene 6: Elephant Habitat
Scene 7: Kangaroo Habitat
Scene 8: Penguin HQ
Skipper: Tell me you've got that antidote figured out, Kowalski.
Kowalski: I... got nothing. No matter what I do, I can't get the formula to achieve low energy orbitals.
Private: [tastes the antidote] Hmm, tart. Perhaps it needs a little sugar.
Kowalski: Private, please. This is an intricate problem that requires... Sugar! Of course! The monosaccaride will stabilize the entire solution!
Skipper: Good work, Private.
Private: Thanks. I thought it needed the monostereo... thing.
Scene 9: Lemur Habitat
Julien: Using Mort's muscles to loot all this loot was genius! I really must compliment my brain. Brain, good job.
['Brain']: Thank you. I'd thought it be nice to not have an idea you'll pull out of your booty.
Er, do not speak ill of the booty.
['Brain']: Ah, booty, booty, booty. Shut up about the booty.
You shut up about the shutting up!
['Brain']: I am not talking to you!
Fine, I am not talking to you! Stupid brain.
Err, anyway, now I will dive into my Mort-gotten loot. he dives into the piles of fruit as Mort picks up a banana
Mort: Can Mort have banana?
Julien: Mort, you silly-billy. Of course you can't have a banana. [As it is taken from him] This is the royal loot. [He wipes his tail on Mort's face, causing him to fall onto the bouncy castle and on the floor]
Mort: But... I want BANANA!
Skipper: What you lemurs do with your feet is your own business, Mort. But when you terrorize the entire zoo, that makes it ours.
Private: Um, Skipper, seeing as we turned Mort into the threat, isn't it already our business?
Skipper: [whispering] Not now, Private.
Anyway, you're drinking this antidote, pronto!
Kowalski: It'll reverse the unfortunate freakish effects of the super ray.
Mort: NO! Mort don't want ani-dote! [crushes Julien's feet]
Julien: Can't... feel... royal toes...
Mort: Mort like big!
[Pounds his fist on the ground causing the penguins to fall back] [Kowalski almost drops the antidote]
Kowalski: Hoo boy.
Mort: Mort like strong! [jumps down] Nobody boss Mort around!
Skipper: He's in berserker mode. Retreat, men, retreat! [the penguins scatter as Mort uses Julien as a whacking stick]
[Skipper gets whacked, collides into Rico and both hit the bouncy castle with Rico spewing out several items. Kowalski climbs up onto Mort]
Kowalski: Open up, Mort. It's medicine! [He gets knocked out and drops the antidote]
[Private is worringly hiding from a distance from the antidote and Mort, who approaches Private]
Private: Now Mort, lets take a moment to gather ourselves.
Julien: [dangling over Mort's shoulder] Yes, Mort please. Has anyone seen my spleen?
Private: I know you don't want to go back being little bullied Mort...
Julien: Still, might be a nice change of pace. Lets give it a swirl.
Private: ...But Mort, there's a natural order of things, and being little and lovable...
Mort: NO! [angrily grabs Private] Mort hate little! [Julien is used as a makeshift baseball bat to launch Private in the air, who falls into the penguins' HQ and ricochets inside to finally land on a table. Cut outside where a glowing green light appears]
Private: [laughs] It does tickle!
Scene 10: Penguin Habitat
Scene 11: Lemur Habitat
Mort: [amazed] Wow. Big penguin.
Private: Yes, Mort. And you're supposed to be little lemur! So take your medicine, NOW!
Mort: [guilty] Okay...
Mort: I'm normal me again... And I like me!
King Julien: Yes, and I hope you learned a lesson of value. Being a bully is no good.
Maurice: Wait a minute! You used Mort to bully everyone else!
King Julien: Maurice, we don't play the blame game here.
Julien looks up and notices the giant Private glaring at him.
King Julien: [cowardly] All of the blame is mine! Just don't sit upon me!
Scene 12: Penguin Habitat
Kowalski: Well, nothing left to do but whip up another bunch of antidote.
Private: Actually, I don't think that'll be necessary. Private likes big!