Skipper: Kowalski, just what are we looking at here?
Kowalski: Isn't it obvious?
Private: Looks like a regular old fish to me.
Kowalski: That's because it is.
Skipper: Fantastic. Thanks for clearing that up, Kowalski.[All except Kowalski begin to leave]
Kowalski: No, wait! It's a regular fish now, but when I zap it with my super 
          ray, it will be a super fish. When we eat the super fish, we will 
          get stronger bones, denser muscle mass, and best of all, 
          remarkably shiny feathers.
Skipper: Aces, Kowalski! And here I thought you've finally cracked.
Skipper: [to Rico] Keep an eye on him. I think he's finally cracked.

Skipper: Tell me you've got that antidote figured out, Kowalski.
Kowalski: I... got nothing. No matter what I do, I can't get the formula to
          achieve low energy orbitals.
Private: [Tastes antidote] Hmm, tart. Have you tried adding little sugar.
Kowalski: Private, please. This is an intricate problem that requires... 
          Sugar! Of course! The mono-saccharides will stabilizer the entire 
          solution!
Skipper: Good work, Private.
Private: Thanks. I thought it needed the mono-stereo... thing.

Skipper: What you lemurs do with your feet is your own business, Mort. But when
         you terrorize the entire zoo, it becomes ours.
Private: Um, Skipper, seeing as we turned Mort into the threat, isn't it 
         already our problem?
Skipper: Not now, Private.

Skipper: Kowalski, options.
Kowalski: Only one, Skipper. Close your eyes so you don't see it coming.

[Throwing away fruit]
Julien: Boring. Don't like. Don't want. Don't care. Used to like, not 
        anymore. Pass. Wait! Was that a mango. So sweet and tangy and juicy 
        and sweet. Did I say sweet twice? Doesn't matter. A mango can be
        sweety sweet. (gasps) And now it's gone FOREVER!!

Bada: Yo, Bing.
Bing: Yeah, Bada?
Bada: We got us a treaspasser.
Bing: No, we got us a thief. You know what we do to thieves around here?
Mort: Kissies and huggies?
Bada: Nope. Thieves get bounced.
[Bounces Mort out of habitat]

Julien: ...And that is when I decided to dedicate my life to the most 
        importantest thing in all of the life, me. Are you getting all 
        this, Maurice?
Maurice: [Drawing a picture of Julien with steam coming out of his ears] Huh?
         Oh, yeah. I got it. I got it all.
Julien: Okay. Chapter two...

Mort: I'm normal me again... And I like me!
Julien: Yes, and I hope you learned a lesson of value. Being a bully is no 
        good.
Maurice: Wait a minute! You used Mort to bully everyone else!
Julien: Maurice, we don't play the blame game here.
[the giant Private turns to Julien]
Private: Ahem!
Julien: All of the blame is mine! Just don't sit upon me!

Joey: Why do you lot want my hay? You blokes don't even eat the stuff.
Julien: No, but there's something else I like to do with it.
[Makes macramé Julien out of a blade of hay]
Julien: Make macra-mes. Nice, huh?
Joey: Touch me hay again, and I'll snap you like a pencil!
Julien: Oh really? Listen, if there is to be any snapping, it will be you
        who is the broken pencil, my friend.

Julien: That was a great idea I just had. I must compliment my brain. Good 
        idea, brain. Thanks, I think it was nice that you had an idea that
        you didn't pull out of your booty. Hey, do not speak ill of the booty!
        Oh, booty, booty, booty! Shut up about the booty! You shut up about 
        the shutting up! Fine, then I am not talking to you! And I am not 
        talking to you! Stupid brain.

Mort: Can Mort have banana?
Julien: Mort, you silly-billy, of course you CAN'T have a banana. This is the royal loot.
[Julien shake his tail to Mort's face, Mort falls]
Mort: But, But, But... I WANT BANANA!!
[Mort jump and land, shocking both King Julien and Maurice]
Mort: Gimme Banana!
Julien: Maurice, do something!
Maurice: Like give him a banana?
Julien: Don't be ridiculous, Maurice.