Scene I: Zoovenier Shop
Zoom in on the outside of the Zoovenier shop. Burt's body is hanging outside because he is too big to fit in the shop. Many of the zoo animals are inside, yawning, nodding off, and generally looking bored. Skipper is addressing the crowd.
Skipper: And if you refer to visual aid number 422 stroke B...
The penguins are standing on a table, and Skipper is holding a wooden pointer behind his back. Private shines a flashlight through a slide photograph, projecting on the wall a drawing of Mort, King Julien, and Maurice wearing grass skirts and throwing confetti, standing on Private, Skipper, and Rico's heads.
Skipper: You can plainly see another critical operation being compromised by a certain group of zoo animals who shall remain nameless.
Kowalski: (sarcastically coughing) Lemurs! *cough* It's the lemurs.
Skipper: And so...
Private switches to a slide of a line graph on which the heads of the lemurs are drawn.
Skipper: ...I would like to formally make a motion that these certain, unspecified zoo animals...
Kowalski and Rico sarcastically cough. Kowalski talks quietly.
Kowalski: Totally the lemurs.
Skipper: ...be banned from obstructing any and all future penguin operations.
King Julien: WAIT!
The lemurs slide down Burt's trunk and land beside the penguins.
King Julien: I motion to interrupt your motionings...
Maurice and Mort put two hand-drawn pictures in front of Kowalski and Rico (the picture shows the four penguins in fighting poses blocking a conga line of lemurs). King Julien smacks the drawings with another wooden pointer
King Julien: ...so that you can see my own visualizing aids which clearly show that it was actually a certain other group of other zoo animals I'm not naming any names here...
Maurice: (sarcastically coughing) *cough* Penguins! *cough* He means penguins.
King Julien: ...that would compromise in a raging conga ski party!
Marlene: Uh, yeah. Hi. Is it absolutely necessary that you two have the same exact argument at every single meeting?
Mason: There must be some way the two of you can just work it out!
Skipper bumps Maurice out of his way, moving to the center of the table.
Skipper: (annoyed) That's exactly what I'm doing! By officially making a motion that these certain unspecified animals...
Skipper taps Maurice with his pointer. Kowalski and Rico sarcastically cough and point at Maurice and Mort. The lemurs look angry and King Julien stomps his foot.
Kowalski: *cough* Lemurs. *cough* King Julien and the lemurs.
Skipper: ...be declared a hazard!
King Julien makes some gestures with his arms and pointer.
King Julien: And I am making my own motions, motioning that you be officially declared (points his pointer at Skipper) the least fun person ever!
The zoo animals watch the conversation with heads to Skipper.
Skipper: (angrily) Well, I motion that you be declared unfit to call yourself a leader!
Heads turn to King Julien.
King Julien: (angrier) And I motion that you are the one who is unfit. And therefore, you must commence with the shutting of your beakhole!
Heads turn to Skipper. Skipper pushes King Julien back with his pointer while he talks.
Skipper: (angrier still, shouting) And I motion that you wouldn't last a single day running my squad!
King Julien pushes Skipper back with his pointer.
King Julien: (more angrier still, shouting) And I motion that you admit that you would not last even one single day as king!
Mason comes between them, pushing them apart.
Mason: All in favor of Skipper and King Julien trading places for one day and thus each gaining a greater mutual respect, learning to appreciate each other, blah blah blah, so on and so forth, say 'Aye!'.
All the zoo animals raise their hands, paw, trunk, or wing.
All the zoo animals: Aye!
Mason: (Talking quickly) Very well, the motion carries. Meeting adjourned.
The animals in the zoovenir shop dash out in a flash. Skipper and King Julien are still in hostile positions, then stop and look confused.
Skipper: Wait, what motion?
King Julien: Uh... Zoo people say what?
Scene II: In Between the Penguin and Lemur Habitats
The penguins are standing in a line by their habitat and King Julien and the lemurs are standing in a line by theirs. King Julien takes off his crown and gives it to Skipper, who puts it on. Skipper and Julien switch places in line.
Julien: Maurice, Mort, I command you to obey this smelly water bird as your king for the next 24 hours...
Maurice: Uhhh... OK.
Julien: Or at least until he comes crying to me for help like a little baby!
Julien mocks Skipper by pantomiming a child wiping tears from his eyes.
Skipper: Men, Ringtail is your commanding officer now. I expect you to obey his every command for the next day...
Kowalski: Aye aye, our once and future skipper!
Skipper: Or until the humiliation of failure causes him to crack. In which case, mutiny is the obvious and welcome choice.
Julien sulks. Rico coughs up a bat and poses like he is going to beat Julien, then hides it behind his back and whistles when Julien turns towards him.
Julien: (mockingly) Good luck trying to be king. You are going to be needing it!
Julien and Skipper shake hands.
Skipper: Luck is for leprechauns, Ringtail!
The penguins and Julien, and the lemurs and Skipper, walk their separate ways.
Scene III: Penguin HQ
Zoom in on the top of the habitat.
Private: (cheerfully) Good morning, Commander Julien, sir! Breakfast is served!
Julien is asleep when a green stench line passes by his nose, waking him up. Rico is holding a mug with a fish in it that is emitting the odor.
Julien: Oh you're kidding, right? I mean, this is some kind of army joke right? You're playing army funnies on the new guy (chuckles nervously) right?
Private, Rico, and Kowalski are all eating fish from a bucket.
Kowalski: Aah, delicious and nutritious with just a tangy hint of mercury!
Kowalski swallows a fish happily. Rico holds out the mug with the fish.
Private: Give it a try, King Ju- (correcting himself) Commander Julien, sir. You might like it!
Julien reluctantly takes the mug.
Julien: Well, maybe just one tiny-
Julien puts his tongue on the fish, then chokes and pushes the cup at Rico and screams.
Julien: It's on my tongue! Get it off my tongue! Get it off!
Julien runs his tongue on the far left wall, over the window, and over Rico and Private. He licks the bottom of a boot, sticks his tongue in an an electric plug, getting electrocuted, and licks a spherical container with an electric core inside. He runs his tongue over a plaque of Private's first place bass. He stops and sees it is another fish. He screams, then grabs Private's foot and licks it.
Private: Hmm. That's funny. Skipper eats four of those every morning!
Julien stands up.
Julien: (sarcastically) Oh, that is funny. (angrily) And do you know why? Because any real leader guy would have...five.
Julien pokes Rico in the chest.
Julien: Serve them up!
Rico tosses him another fish from the bucket.
Rico: FISH. FISH!
Julien: Yeah, that's right; Keep 'em comin'. And don't be stingy with the-
Julien puts his tongue on the fish, then screams and acts like he's choking.
Julien: Oh, get the smell off my tongue!
Julien falls on his knees, then throws himself at the penguins' feet.
Julien: Please! Get it off, get it off. (cries face down)
Rico, Kowalski and Private shrug.
Scene IV: Lemur Habitat
Skipper is pacing by Julien's throne.
Skipper: Attention, Lemurs! Fall in!
Mort and Maurice come as commanded.
Skipper: Maurice! Report!
Maurice: Uh... Uh, report? Report on what?
Skipper: Everything! Give me mission status briefings for all of your current lemur operations!
Maurice and Mort look at each other.
Mort: (amused) Lemur what?
Maurice: We don't really do that here, King Skipper, sir.
Skipper: Well, what does King Julien usually do the first thing in the morning?
Maurice: Well, we would probably just be havin' breakfast.
Skipper rubs his hands together in anticipation.
Skipper: Perfect! Operation Break-the-Fast has officially commenced. Maurice! Options!
Maurice: Fruit or fruit smoothie.
Mort: Or mango!
Maurice pats Mort on the head.
Maurice: Which is also fruit.
Scene V: Penguin HQ
Julien and the penguins are touring the HQ.
Kowalski: And that pretty much concludes the complete tour of the HQ facility, King Julien, sir.
Private: Except, of course... for the classified security areas...
Kowalski and Rico are about to simultaneously slap Private but stop when Julien turns around, interested.
Julien: Classified areas, you are saying? As in tippy-top secret areas?
Private nervously addresses Rico and Kowalski, who look mad.
Private: What? Skipper said he was our commander!
Julien: Yes! And my first command is to command you to take me to these tippy-top secret places.
Kowalski looks at Rico, then sighs.
Kowalski: (reluctantly) The elevator can be accessed through that control panel.
He gestures to the control panel. Julien skips over to it.
Julien: Hmm. Buttons...
Private: No, wait! Not those!
Julien begins pushing random buttons obliviously, making different automatic weapons pop out of the walls that injure the penguins. (pause) Electric saws descend.
Kowalski: Those buttons control-
A giant stomper descends.
Kowalski: Anti-intruder messag-
The giant stomper descends two more times.
Kowalski: And booby-
The electric saws descend, then the stomper twice.
Julien pushes more buttons, then pushes one repeatedly.
Julien: Uh, this one's kind of sticking... If I can't get it...
Lasers fire at the penguins, then flamethrowers burn them, then a conductor electrocutes them. Finally, a door in the wall of the HQ opens with a ding. Julien glances at the button, then rushes excitedly to the elevator, hopping on an unconscious Private, Kowalski, and Rico's stomachs, which squeak.
Julien: Yeah! There we go! That's what I'm talkin' about! You see that? I bet Skipper isn't doing nearly as bang-up a job at being me as I am at being him!
Scene VI: Lemur Habitat
Skipper paces around Julien's throne.
Skipper: (to Maurice) Now what should I be doing?
Maurice: Well, King Julien would probably just be plopped on his throne by now...
Skipper jumps on the throne and laughs incredulously.
Skipper: That's it?! I need action! There must be something that Ringtail does that I can do better!
Mort jumps at Skipper's feet.
Mort looks at Skipper's feet, surprised, then shudders happily and hugs them again.
Mort: Webbed! Oh, that's new!
Maurice: This is when King Julien would kick him off.
Skipper lifts his foot and looks at Mort, who is clutching it.
Skipper: Seems cruel and excessive...
Maurice: Oh, yeah! One time he kicked him to Burt's place!
Skipper: The pachyderm habitat? Weak!
Skipper hops off the throne.
Skipper: I bet I can hit 63rd and Lex! Watch this. Hyah!
Skipper runs forward and kicks Mort, who flies up in the air and lands in the city. A window breaks and a car alarm goes off.
Man: MY CAR!!!
Maurice whistles, impressed.
Skipper: (fist pumps) My kingly self is in the zone!
Scene VII: Penguin HQ, An Elevator
Julien and the penguins ride in an elevator. King Julien fidgets excitedly. The theme music for the show plays softly in the background.
Kowalski: (annoyed) The high security sections are broken down into subterranean levels one through 12.
The elevator dings. The doors open and piles of crates can be seen.
The doors close and the elevator dings again. The doors open, revealing a hovering UFO.
Julien: Very nice.
The doors close and the elevator dings again. The doors open, revealing a large eyeball. Julien runs and hides behind Kowalski.
Julien: (nervously) Ay-ay-ay!
The eye looks at the penguins and blinks. The doors close. Julien stands in front of the penguins.
Julien: Which of the levels would be the most tippy-toppy secret, then? Would it be me-leven? No, 12, right?
Private: Except of course for hidden level 13.
Rico and Kowalski gasp then glare at Private.
Private: But that's so secret even-
Private jumps away from Kowalski and Rico, who were going to slap him but miss and slap each other accidentally.
Private: What? He's in charge now!
Julien feels along the panel with floor buttons. Underneath the twelve buttons, a compartment flips open, revealing the button for level thirteen, which Julien pushes. A door opens, and a green light shines on the penguins and Julien. Julien gasps and runs out of the elevator excitedly.
Kowalski: (afraid) Those are my untested inventions! Don't touch anything!
A spring sound is heard.
Julien: Oh! Toys!
Kowalski sighs and Rico glares at Private.
Kowalski: (coughing sarcastically) *cough* Good job, Private.
Private hangs his head, ashamed.
Scene VIII: Chimp Habitat
Phil swings on a tire swing while Mason eats a banana on the branch that the tire swing is tied to. Marlene appears over the wall.
Marlene: Hey, Mason. So, any buzz on how the old swap-a-roo's workin' out?
Mason: Hmm. I say-
A pink, glittery line of fragrance appears in front of Marlene. Marlene sniffs the air.
Marlene: Hold that thought...
Marlene follows the scent, leaving the habitat and walking as if being led by the scent, under its spell, crawls over a bench.
Marlene: (thinking aloud) That smell... It's like, like a sugar wind!
Marlene looks over the wall of the zoo.
Marlene: Could it be?
She gazes out at the park where a man is making cotton candy. When he pulls out the finished cone, a pink haze highlights the cotton candy. Marlene's eyes widen and get pink like the cotton candy she is gazing at.
Marlene: It is! It's...cotton candy!
Marlene backflips into the chimps' habitat.
Marlene: (to the chimps, excitedly) It's cotton candy, in the park, 'kay?
Marlene jumps up and down excitedly.
Marlene: I saw it, 'kay? I smelled it, and I want it! We need to get Skipper on it right away!
Mason: Yes. That might be a bit of a problem...
Mason points. Marlene turns and sees Skipper juggling coconuts and hula-hooping in a Hawaiian skirt. Skipper throws the coconuts aside and strikes a pose, then shakes his tail.
Scene IX: Lemur Habitat
Skipper: Check out the boot-ee!
Skipper: Who's shakin'? Who's quakin'? Who is not... fakin'?
Julien looks over the wall of the penguin habitat.
Julien: (to Skipper) Wow. Wha-What is that? "No" school? 'Cause it ain't old school, and it ain't new school. But look what I found in your top-secret, even-you-don't-know-what's-down-there level 13!
Julien holds up a golden rod with a green gem hovering on the end. He rubs the gem.
Julien: Freaky secret thingy!
Scene X: In Between the Penguin and Lemur Habitats
The penguins are between their habitat and the lemurs'.
Kowalski: (angrily) It's my sonic subatomic velocitizer and it's not a toy!
Julien turns and blasts the three penguins with a green laser that comes from the velocitizer, pushing them against the fence that surrounds their habitat. Julien jumps in front of them.
Julien: Oh really! Then why is it so much fun then?
Skipper jumps down to face Julien.
Skipper: (incredulously) You let him on level 13?!
Julien fires the laser at Skipper, but he pushes through it as if being blown by a heavy wind. When Skipper gets close, Julien stops the device.
Julien: (mockingly) And... I used your toothbrush.
Skipper blanches, then tackles Julien and slaps him. They both freeze when Marlene starts talking.
Marlene: Stop! Enough! Skipper, you have got a big, important mission!
Skipper: I do?
Marlene: (hysterical) YES! The cotton candy man is coming!
Skipper gets up, looking amused. Julien continues firing the lazer, as is evident by a few green flashes of light on the side. Julien's laughter can be heard in the background.
Skipper: Me? (chuckles) Oh, no no no!
Skipper adjusts "his" crown.
Skipper: I'm king of the lemurs! I think you need to see the penguin C.O. over there...
Julien uses the laser to throw a trashcan to the side.
Julien: Ha! Do I look as cool as I feel with this thing? Be honest...
The trashcan flies over Skipper and Marlene's heads.
Marlene grabs Skipper, then falls to her knees beseechingly as Julien's laugh is heard again.
Marlene: It's cotton- it's cotton candy.
Skipper: Sure! All Ringtail has to do is admit that he is in no way leader material.
Julien: In your dreams, flipper boy! I shall lead this cotton candy mission myself!
Julien stomps angrily past the other penguins.
Julien: Come on, boys.
The penguins look sadly at Skipper, then follow Julien. Skipper chuckles and nudges a serious-looking Marlene.
Skipper: Oh-ho-ho, I'm not seeing a lot of pink, sugary goodness in your future...
Marlene: (cheering up, slyly) Maybe not, but if he does pull it off, that will make him a successful Skip-per...
Skipper: (with determination on his face) As king of the lemurs, I decree that ain't gonna happen...
Scene XI: The Park
The cotton candy man accidentally knocks some cotton candy cones off of his cart and kneels down to retrieve them. Skipper, Maurice, and Mort pop up from their hiding spot in the cart with cotton candy on their heads.
Skipper: The sugar express is about to leave the station! Mort, you're on lookout. Maurice, I need you to go bypass the electric circuit.
Maurice: I have no idea what you just said.
Mort: (whispering to Maurice, making the universal crazy sing, making a circle to his head with his finger) He's crazy...
Skipper: It's no good. I need-
Maurice: Kowalski! Private! Rico!
Skipper: Well, yes, but-
Maurice: No! I mean, here they come! With King Julien! And they're on...pogo sticks?
Julien, Kowalski, Private, and Rico are bouncing toward the cart on three red pogo sticks (Private and Julien share one).
Julien: Look out!
They crash into the cart, flying off onto it, but inadvertently sending it rolling toward the wall of the zoo. The cotton candy man obliviously retrieves the fallen cotton candy cones.
Skipper: Pogo sticks? Why pogo sticks?
Kowalski: (rueful) I told him he could ask for options...
Rico tries to pull the brake lever on the side of the cart but instead breaks it.
Rico: Uh oh.
Everyone screams as the cart rolls down a hill.
Private: Skipper! The wall!
Julien: Kowalski! More options!
Kowalski: The velocitizer!
Julien gives the velocitizer to Mort.
Julien: Here, Mort. Prepare for the kicking!
Julien takes a few steps backward and raises his leg.
Maurice: Uh. Let Skipper.
Julien stops and lets Skipper get behind Mort. He gets a running start and kicks Mort ahead of the cart.
Mort flies through the air, then stops in midair as the velocitizer activates, sending its laser blast at the cart. He rotates slowly. The cart is lifted into the air and carried over the zoo while everyone else hangs on.
The other animals notice the cart; Marlene hops onto the wall of her habitat. Bada stops pushing Bing in their tire swing and the tire hits him. Burt looks up and stares in amazement. Pinky looks through the legs.
Cotton candy rises out of the cart in a whirlwind and floats in clumps in the air. The other animals leave their habitats. Burt grabs a piece of cotton candy with his trunk. Mason reaches for a piece but Phil dives through the air and catches it in his mouth before Mason can get it. Marlene reaches for a piece but a wind of cotton candy blows past, coating her completely in cotton candy.
Mort reaches for a piece but the device suddenly stops working, making the cart fall on him. Julien has his crown back on.
Skipper: (amiably) You actually did it, Ringtail!
King Julien: Me? What about that kingly kick!
Julien gives Skipper a friendly noogie.
King Julien: I would say that you did it!
Phil, Mason, and Marlene sit in a glob of cotton candy, eating it happily.
Marlene: (while chewing) Ya know, maybe there is something to this whole kooky role-reversal!
Scene XII: Zoovenier Shop
Skipper and King Julien sword fight with wooden pointers, angrily. Skipper pushes King Julien back with his pointer.
Skipper: And I motion that we officially ban you from leaving your habitat between the hours of-
King Julien pushes Skipper back with his pointer.
King Julien: And I am motioning that we officially ban your face!
The other zoo animals watch.
Marlene: Or, ya know, maybe not...