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Future Kowalski 1: Private, can you think of one time I have played a trick, or even told a joke?
Private: You really are from the future! Tell me, am I living in a cottage in Novaskoscha happily married with one egg and another on the way?
Future Kowalski 1: Uh... no.
Private: Aw...

Present Kowalski: Ah, think of all the famous historical figures we'll be able to meet.
Skipper: Yeah, like... uh... Well actually I just wanna slap a hippy or two. Maybe make 'em get jobs!
Rico: Uh-huh!

Future Kowalski 2: Skipper! You've got to stop me!
[Skipper kicks him in the face without getting up from his lounge chair]
Skipper: There. You're stopped.
Future Kowalski 2: No! Not me, me! That me! (points at Present Kowalski)
Present Kowalski: I must... destroy... the Chronotron!
Skipper: There's two of you? You're from the future! Tell me, does the Earth become a post-apocalyptic wasteland terrorized by roaming bands of irradiated mutants?! (punches one flipper into another eagerly)
Future Kowalski 2: Uh... no.
Skipper: Oh...

Kowalski-B: ...We have more pressing concerns. Another future me has come to this time to convince the present me to destroy my Chronotron, which I've only just learned is key to the survival of the universe!
Skipper: Time travel. All you want is to slap a hippie, but all you get is multiple Kowalskis.

Private: Skipper? What's in the sack?
Skipper: Laundry. Why? What's wrong with a Penguin and his sack of laundry?
Private: Well, nothing. Except we don't wear clothes.
Skipper: Well, yeah. 'Cause they're dirty.

Skipper: Kowalski, you maniac! You did it. You finally really did it.
Kowalski: Yes, but you gotta admit. These are good snow cones.
Skipper: Oh yeah, totally worth it.

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