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Kowalski: I've uh... come up with some options. Anybody wanna hear them? (Rico grunts okay) Private: Okay, why not?
King Julien: What is all the commotion? I was having a dream where I was the last mammal on Earth. Mort: Was I in it? King Julien: Yes, but you were roadkill. Mort: But I was in it!
Skipper: Come on, men. Let's leave this to the tiny dancer, and get us some shut-eye. King Julien: My ghost mojo is working! Can you feel it?
King Julien: Obviously, this is a new ghost, since the old ghost was just eliminated by me, your king. Skipper: Your little song and dance did bubkes! King Julien: Oh? And what did you do? Double bubkes! So shut up.
Skipper: Talk to me, Kowalski. Kowalski: These readings are off the charts! Skipper: Well, get bigger charts then. Take it out of petty cash.
Skipper: It's knock-knock time, Rico. (Rico spits out a lit stick of dynamite) Marlene: Isn't this kinda, um... extreme? Skipper: No, two sticks of dynamite would be extreme. This'll just let the specter know we mean business.
Julien: Fine. Have at it. You will come back begging and I will say... Maybe I help. But maybe not!
Kowalski: Lucky break you went down there to rescue Marlene, isn't it, Skipper? Skipper: Actually, I didn't so much rescue Marlene so much as... Marlene: Hmm? Skipper: Well, let's just say if I'm ever caught in a swirling current of raw sewage, I hope that Marlene is by my side. Marlene: Awww, that's so sweet... I think.
Roger: So the Friedman's youngest, Benny, picks me up on vacation in Florida. Private: Uh-huh. Roger: They were visiting their Nana in Tampa, but that's neither here nor there. Private: Uh-huh. Roger: I was just a baby at the time, but you change, you grow... next thing I know, I'm flushed down the toilet. Kowalski: Fascinating. Roger: Actually, it's not as bad as it seems.
Mort: But I don't want to go into the haunted place! King Julien: Be brave, Mort, like me. Roger: (pokes his head out) Hello! (The lemurs run away screaming) Roger: What's the matter with the guy in the funny hat? Skipper: I wish I knew, Roger. I wish I knew.
Kowalski: According to rumors, the previous occupant of this habitat did disappear... Private: ...under mysterious circumstances! Marlene: He was transfered to Toledo. Mort: (scared) Toledo? (All look scared) Skipper: (holding a flashlight under his face) Ohio! (Mort screams and runs away, slamming into a wall)
Skipper: It's some kind of monster from the darkest abyss!
Mort: (cradling Julien's ankles) What if it was a ghost? King Julien: Then you can touch the ghost's feet!
Marlene: You guys ever knock, or...? Kowalski: Such pleasantries would only slow us down. Private: We do pride ourselves on a rapid response.
Kowalski: It appears the ghostly death rattle is coming from your own respiratory system. Marlene: Uh, yeah, of course. Can anybody spit it out in English? (Rico lies down and snores) Marlene: Snoring? I don't snore. (Skipper plays back the tape of Marlene snoring) Skipper: Mystery solved. You spooked yourself. Marlene: That wasn't the scary sound. Skipper: Oh, come on. It's bloodcurdling!
Skipper: We are in the mysterious realm of the specter. Marlene: It's a sewer. Skipper: "Haunted" sewer.
END OF ARTICLE