Conversations involving Him
- Skipper: We need you to take a look at this squirrel artifact.
- Fred: Hmm. [Looks at it] Well, later, guys.
- King Julien: Excuse me! What about the treasure?
- Fred: What treasure?
- Kowalski: What he means is can you tell us something about it.
- Fred: Oh, you said just to look at it. Tell you. That's harder.
- Private: Your Granny's a genius, Fred.
- Fred: She certainly is.
- Kowalski: How does she know so much about the treasure?
- Fred: Wait, you think she's my grandma? That's not my grandma.
- Skipper: She's not?
- Fred: No, I told you. She's in my tree taking a nap.
- Skipper: Fred, she hugged you.
- Fred: Well, that did strike me as a bit odd, but what was I gonna do, say no to a hug? I love hugs.
- Marlene: So, how would you like to show me the town?
- Fred: It's right over there.
- Marlene: You kidder! You are kidding, right?
- Marlene: So, Fred, let's get to know you. What makes you tick? What are your likes, what are your dislikes.
- Fred: Well, I like most things, except the things I don't like. Stupid things I don't like!
Fred in the reptile house watching Julien display his staff skills, suddenly he sees Julien strike himself
*Fred: Um I'm supposed to do what with this again? *Julien: (losing his patience) HIT ME! *Fred: But your already doing that to yourself *Julien: But I...
Fred blankly stares
*Julien: I told....
Fred stares more
- Julien: Listen to!...
Fred stares even more. Pause. Julien is fed up and shakes his head.
- Julien: ergh!
- Kowalski: (goes up to a tree with Fred.) You there. (Fred looks. Kowalski shows a picture of Julien and Marlene.) Have you seen this lemur and otter?
- Fred: (looks for a minute.) Which one of them is the otter?
- Kowalski: (looks at picture and points to the drawn otter.) This one, obviously. Note the whiskers?
- Fred: No, I thought that was a cat.
- Kowalski: Did I say, "Have you seen this lemur and cat"?
- Fred: No; that's why I thought it was strange that you drew a cat.
- Kowalski: (losing his patience) It's not a cat!
- Fred: Then, why does it have whiskers?
- (short pause.)
- Kowalski: (trying to control himself) You know what? Never mind the otter.
- Fred: Cat.
- Kowalski: (exploding) WHATEVER! (shows picture again angrily) Have you seen the lemur?!
- Fred: What's a lemur?
- Kowalski: (calmly, walks away.) I think we're done here.
- Private: (the penguins come to a tree with Fred in it. Rico has smoking on his mohawk.) Excuse me. We're looking the Archer, the hero of Central Park. He steals from the zoo and gives to the zoo-less. And then he fires an arrow and swings to his next adventure. (Rico puts on the smoke in his mohawk.)
- Fred: (short pause) We've got a zoo?
- Private: Well, yes.
- Skipper: That's where we're from.
- Kowalski: Or, did you believe that penguins are indigenous to the New York area?
- Fred: I don't know. Are they?
- Kowalski: No.
- Fred: Then, how did you get here?
- Private: We're from the zoo.
- Fred: Yeah, I've heard we've got one of those. I wonder if they've got gibbons there. I've always wanted to meet-
- Skipper: (interrupting) We're looking for a raccoon.
- Fred: The zoo's got raccoons?
- Kowalski: NOO!!
- Fred: That's a shame.
- Skipper: (the penguins walked away.) We're wasting our time here.
- Fred: Of course, if you wanted to see a raccoon, you can always go see Archie.
- Skipper: (the penguins stopped; Skipper turns) Archie?
- Fred: Yeah, Archie. That guy's a lousy, backstabbing cheat! He's my best friend.
END OF ARTICLE
*Um, I'm gonna run away now. (The Red Squirrel)
- Fred: So you want me to pretend to be a squirrel?
Private: You are a squirrel. Fred: Yeah, but I've never been a pretend one before. Private: It'll be fine. (Private gets an eye patch and puts it over Fred's ear and closes the eye patch on Fred's eye.) Fred: Ow! (The Red Squirrel)
*OK, only a hundred yards to the nearest tree... (He runs straight into a tree.) Stupid eye patch! (The Red Squirrel)
*(Private is hiding behind the box and opens it to let Fred out. Fred jumps out.)Private: Thanks a million, Fred. Fred: No problem. (He brushes himself off and takes off the eye patch.) I always wanted to ride in a box. You know, they have cardboard on the inside, too.