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- Operation: Steal Wool -- Relocating Randy to a farm.
- Conquistador Helmet -- For a hurt option.
- Balloon -- To rub on Randy to build up static electricity on his wool.
- Hurt Options: The "Norwegian Noogie," the "West Indies Wedgie," and the "Conquistador Sunburn."
Name: Kinetic Energy Spray Purpose: To protect Randy from the sticky hands of kids. Ability: To create a barrier coating around the wearer. Success/Failure: Failure
- Song -- Episode title is a parody of MC hammer's 1990 song "U Can't Touch This."
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