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Scene I: Kowalski’s Laboratory
Kowalski: I know I say this kind of thing a lot,
The door flaps open as the penguins enter Kowalski’s lab.
Kowalski: But this time I really, really mean it! Behold, my greatest invention ever!
He waves his flipper on a cloth and heaves it quickly then presents—
Kowalski: The Nanites!
Private: Um., I’m trying... Where are they?
Kowalski: Of course, scientifically deliberate Private, it takes a microscope to view nanites and all their miniscule glory.
Kowalski puts down a microscope as Private steps in to peek down... The Nanites beep and begin to speak.
Nanites: Awaiting command.
Private: Oh! They’re so cute!
Private claps happily. Kowalski places the Nanites in a salt shaker while clarifying to Private about his creation.
Kowalski: If by cute you mean able to animate any mechanical object, then yes. As a teeny button.
He approaches a floor buffing machine and tests the Nanites on it. It begins to mop the floor by itself.
Nanites: Buffing floor.
Polishes the floor leaving it sparkly clean, impressing Private.
Private: Ooh! Sparkly! It’s so sparkly!
Skipper: Nope, don’t trust it.
The scene cut to a toaster getting operated by Nanites making toast for Rico.
Nanites: Not too light. Not too dark.
The toast pop out the toaster. Rico catches it and begins to taste it. But Skipper quickly slaps the toast out of Rico’s flippers.
Rico: Awww... (Sadly)
Skipper: Nope! Still don’t trust it.
The scene cuts to the coffee maker pouring some coffee into a mug before dropping a fish inside. Kowalski offers it to Skipper.
Skipper: Sorry, Kowalski, but I don’t trust anything I can’t see and/or punch.
Kowalski: Skipper, my Nanites will save us tons of drudgery which will free us for more creative pursuits.
Rico overhears this.
Rico: Oh yeah! (regurgitates a chainsaw)
Rico carves an ice sculpture of a chain saw and gazes on it with pure delight.
Rico: Ooh... Very nice...
Kowalski: (pointing to the sculpture) Like that..
Private: The Nanites do seem like they’re one of your more helpful creations..
Skipper: Exactly, they’re Kowalski’s creation and that means they’re destined to go horribly wrong..
Kowalski: Impossible this time, Skipper. I have programmed the Nanites to never allow any harm to come to a penguin. (seriously) Rico? Stick me..
Rico: Okay! (regurgitates a dynamite stick and throws it at Kowalski)
Kowalski stands confidently holding a dynamite without worrying. A vacuum cleaner sucks up the explosive and explodes inside it.
Kowalski: See! There’s no way the Nanites can go wrong. (offers the coffee to Skipper again, and he agrees)
Skipper: Say! This is good Joe! Maybe there is something to your Ninny-ites.
Kowalski: (breaths deeply) At moments like these in the scientific community the technical jargon for this situation is... Told ya!
A fulminant yell is heard from the Lemur Habitat.
Maurice: (distant) I can’t stand this anymore! (yells loudly)
Scene II: Lemur Habitat
The penguins quickly converges to the Lemur Habitat sighting Mort crying over Julien who is covered with red liquid.
Maurice: You messed with this for the last time!
Mort was crying. The penguins stare with a fright as they see Julien on the ground, with a red liquid on that looked like blood.
Skipper: So it finally happened. Who had the day when Maurice snapped?
Kowalski pulls out a calender with a picture of Rico on it.
Skipper, Kowalski, and Private hand Rico some fish.
Rico: Oh! Yeah! More fish baby! Wow! (mumbling)
Julien gains consciousness.
Julien: Wait! The only crime here is my banana berry smoothie should be inside of my whole tummy. Not outside, sticking out my majestic mid-section.
Skipper Kowalski and Private glares at Rico after he ate the fish when Julien was explaining. Rico spits the fishes out of his beak.
Maurice: It’s this stupid old junkie blender.
He kicks the blender. The glass falls on Mort.
Mort: So, am I a smoothie now?
Kowalski strides over to Maurice.
Kowalski: Maurice, my Nanites can upgrade your blender and make your work look 95.6 percent less bruling. Maurice: I don’t fully minister with your flabbing about. But I‘m 95.6 sure I like it anyway.
Kowalski uses the Nanites on the blender.
Nanites: Blender repair!
Repairs the blender quickly as possible, drilling sounds are heard.
Nanites: Blender repair complete. Commence smoothie operation.
The Blender prepares a smoothie by itself and Kowalski puts a straw in the glass.
Maurice gives the smoothie to Julien. He takes a sip.
Julien: Oh! The feeling on this matter can only be defined... by dance! Hit it!
Mort plays the boom box and Julien dances to the rhythm while drinking the smoothie.
Skipper: And mine will be defined by leaving.
Scene III: Central Park Zoo
An insect careens around the air when Barry tries to catch it with his tongue.
Barry: Come back here you little flirt!
Attempting to catch it.
Barry: We’re destined to be together you and me! Playing hard to get, eh? I like that.
He sticks out his tongue and gets stuck on a candy making machine. He pulled hardly but it won’t budge.
Barry: I suppose you think this is funny.
The fly snickers and presses a button near the cotton candy machine. It begins to spin around, pulling Barry towards it.
Barry: Uh oh. Help!!
Scene IV: The HQ
Back in the HQ, Kowalski and Rico are playing chess, Skipper posing to a camera and Private looking for his Lunacorn. The Nanites are doing the work for them.
Private: Wait a minute! Where’s my Lunacorn? (checks under his pillow)
The vacuum cleaner hands Private his lost toy.
Private: (hugs his Lunacorn)Oh, thank you.
Skipper connived in different poses while the camera flashes to him taking shots.
Skipper: How’s that?
The camera turned over to show the images. First has Skipper wearing a cowboy hat and a badge with a Texas town theme at the back. Then the next picture shows him wearing a Mexican costume, holding a sword, with a desert theme in the back. The final picture has Skipper being awarded with a badge by Rico while wearing his captain's hat.
Skipper: Ooh la la! I am hot!
Marlene pops out from the opening hatch.
Marlene: (quickly) Guys! Barry the frog’s tongue is caught in the cotton candy machine and it’s winding up. And it’s going to get really ugly, real soon.
Kowalski: Wow! Never in the history of language have those been put together in that order.
Skipper: All that cotton candy is in danger!
Private: Yeah! And Barry too.
Skipper: Neh! Never a fan! Now! This mission is gonna be dangerous.
The Nanites hear about this.
Kowalski: Right! Barry’s a poison dart frog, his touch is devastatingly toxic. (writes on his clipboard) We should work out a meticulous strategy with an emphasis on caution and safety.
Skipper: Or we could just wing it like we always do. I mean what is danger right!
Kowalski: Yeah! It’s just anger hiding behind a plosive consonant. (laughs in a snorting manner)
Skipper: Little obscure, even for you Kowalski.
Kowalski: (annoyed) All right, fine! Let’s just go!
The penguins spring into action.
Nanites: Danger? Danger!! Initiating penguin protection protocol.
Scene V: The Central Park Zoo
All the machines gather altogether as they unleash a signal to all other machines occupied by Nanites.
Maurice: (noticing the blender hopping of) Huh? Hey! Come back!
The blender flees.
Mort: Bye bye, blender! I will always remember you as a friend.
Nanites: (headed to the garage) Assimilating new ordinents.
Electrical sounds and light come from inside. The machines step out with more machines now controlled by the Nanites. Then they all drift off using Alice's zoo cart.
Nanites: Penguins must be saved.
The other zoo animals watches Barry when the penguins arrived.
Barry: This hurts worse more than it looks.
Skipper: Everyone relax. We’re here. Cotton candy will soon be saved.
Private nudges Skipper and gives him a serious look.
Skipper: Hm? (not interested) Oh yeah. And uh, Barry too. Kowalski, tuck him out. Rico, frog proof me! Private, look concerned!.
Private: I’m on it Skipper.
Private looks concerned at the scenario. Skipper, holding the tongs Rico regurgitated, approaches the frog.
Skipper: Easy toxic amphibian. Slow and steady and nobody gets hurt.
Barry: I’m suffering.
Skipper: I meant me.
The zoo vehicle beeps to Skipper. The vacuum cleaner sucks up Skipper.
Skipper: Hey! Oh! This is uncomfortable!
Then he gets tied up and thrown into the vehicle by a set of wires.
Kowalski: It’s the Nanites following their protection protocol.
One by one, the penguins get tied up with wires and were thrown into the vehicle, which drove them home.
Barry: Wait! Where you going?
While in the vehicle tied up.
Skipper: Tell them to stand down..
Kowalski: Verbal override, good idea! Should've done that. Didn’t but should have.
The penguins manage to escape when Skipper used the wires to drive them to Barry.
Rico regurgitates a rope and uses it as a lasso. Skipper turns off the machine. Barry was capable of breaking free and flung high. He landed on a cotton candy held by Kowalski.
Barry: You guys are great. I can hug you all.
The Penguins: No! (backs off)
A vacuum cleaner steps by and sucks up Barry.
Nanites: Amphibian threat, neutralized.
Barry: (inside the vacuum cleaner) Okay, like I was just kidding about the hug thing. Could you guys let me out now? Hello!
Skipper: Who smells Science gone wrong? Anybody?
Skipper, Rico and Private raises their flippers and stare at Kowalski angrily.
Skipper: You! Tall guy! (points at Kowalski).
Kowalski: (sighs) Yeah, okay. Maybe just a whiff.
Scene VI: Kowalski’s Laboratory.
Kowalski is back in his lab looking through a microscope.
Kowalski: This should do it. (clicking on his Speak N’Spell).
Nanites: Overwriting safety protocol denied. Nice try!
Drilling sounds are heard in the HQ.
Private: What’s all that about?
Scene VII. The HQ
Skipper uses the periscope to peek through. Sighting the machines containing and locking them in.
Skipper: Lincoln's itchy beard! We’re being sealed in!
The machines surround them.
Nanites: Containment complete.
Private: Containment? As in trapped?
Skipper: This cannot stand. What if Hans strikes? Or Blowhole? Or that new guy in the reptile house?! You know that guy with the twitchy eye and the blue tongue. You've all seen it right. He's trouble right? (beat) Kowalski front and center! Prepare to receive a disciplinary fish slapping.
Kowalski: (gives Skipper a fish) Ready and deserving Skipper.
Skipper was about to slap Kowalski with a fish, but the Nanites were able to resist Skipper from doing so.
Skipper: Huh? Hmm...
Kowalski: The safety protocols, no harm to a penguin which I am.
Skipper: Right, prepare for putative cuddles and hugs.
The Nanites bind Skipper on the ground with wires.
Skipper: Get off ! I just wanna hug him..WITH MY FIST!
Kowalski: I can fix this. Give me an hour.
Private: What are we suppose to do now?
Kowalski: (quickly) Talk about yourselves. Try to make it interesting.
The Blender prepares smoothies for Rico and Private.
Private: Mmm... They are yummy smoothies.
Kowalski barges in holding his invention
Kowalski: Eat plunger Nanite!
Kowalski gives a swift shot and short circuits the Blender.
Nanites: Retreat! Retreat!
Skipper: Cold smoke kielbasa, Kowalski. You did it!
Kowalski: It was a simple matter of creating a localized electromagnetic pulse--
Skipper: Have a happa-flappa-happy-beak all you want. I'm going Nanite hunting. HUHA!
Rico regurgitates a dynamite stick.
Central Park Zoo (nighttime)
The explosion blows the penguin habitat's entrance open and the penguins come out.
Skipper: Hey Nanite, come grab a hot steaming serving of-
The Nanites suddenly halts behind the penguins becoming larger than before. The penguins slowly turn around to notice it was behind them.
Skipper: (in shock) What the what?
Nanites: Nanite protocol engage. Protect penguins.
Kowalski: Oh, a whole bunch of heck.
Skipper focuses in aiming the Electro-Pulse Cannon at the Nanites and begins to charge the weapon to fire. But the Nanites grapples and flings it, making Skipper lose his grip. The weapon lands a few meters from them.
Skipper: HUH! Scatter! Get the weapon!
The penguins diverge in different directions. First, Rico belly slides while the Nanites targets him and fires him with toast. Kowalski glissades from a lamp post and watches Rico.
Rico: (screams while dodging)
Kowalski: Rico’s toast!
Rico briskly eludes the continuous attack but gets pinned down by toast in his mouth. He grins afterwards. The Nanites loaded itself with winkies and shoots it at Private. Private quickly dodges but gets trapped on wall with winkies.
Private: I’ve been Winkied!
Skipper quickly hustles the Electro-Pulse Cannon and aims at the Nanite again. A two second countdown starts and bursting popcorn from a microwave.
Nanite: One penguin missing. Scanning. (scanning through the zoo)
Kowalski ascends from his hiding place, the manhole then sneaks up to the Electro-Pulse Cannon. He grabs it and directs it to the machine.
Kowalski: Got ya!
Nanite: Penguin’s smug levels rising.
Kowalski triggers the invention as it fires the plunger but misses. The Nanite loses its balance and begins trembling.
Kowalski: Oh nuts!
The Nanite trembles on Kowalski and painfully smacks him.
It quickly returns to its composure and notices Kowalski got injured.
Nanite: Emergency! Emergency penguin injured! We have violated our own safety protocols. Shut down requiring...
It shuts down and the parts kept falling apart. Some parts fall on Kowalski, painfully.
Kowalski: Ow again.
Kowalski comes out of the debris by a microwave.
Private: Okay, what just happened?
Kowalski: Victims of their own programming. (sadly) They self-terminated.
Skipper pops out.
Skipper: So that’s the end of the Nanites. (approaches Kowalski, Rico and Private)
Kowalski: I believe so.
Skipper: So there’s nothing protecting us penguins from danger.
Kowalski: It would seem that way.
Skipper: Kowalski, I'm gonna have to test that theory. (grabs a fish) By fish slapping you into next week!
Kowalski: AH! Ah! (runs away screaming)
Skipper: Get back here! (begins slapping Kowalski) Take it like a penguin!
Kowalski: Not on the brain! Not on the brain!
Skipper chases Kowalski and continues slapping him repeatedly.
END OF ARTICLE