Scene IEdit

(Alice is hauling a large bucket of fish)

Alice: Stinky, disgusting, filthy...

(Walks in front of penguin habitat)

Alice: (groan) Bon Appetit! Can't wait till the automated feeder arrives...

(Alice walks away)

Skipper: That makes two of us sister. (Rico picks up some fish and eats it)

Private: Poor Alice doesn't get much satisfaction from her work.

Skipper: Let's not empathize with the zoo keeper, Private! It dulls your edge.

(The concrete island starts to shake and blue smoke comes spurting out of the fish bowl with Kowalski screaming, flying out; Kowalski lands)

Private: Kowalski, are you okay?

Kowalski: (coughing) Yeah, yeah I'm fine, but my cold fusion beverage chiller is about to obliterate every living creature within a 5 mile radius!

Skipper: Splendid. Another one of your inventions endangers us all. Rico, terminate Kowalski's latest disaster!

(Rico vomits up a bazooka and jumps into the underground HQ)

Kowalski: If only I can boost my brain power from super genius to super mega genius!

(There is an explosion underneath them as Rico deals with the device)

Private: Gosh, Kowalski, I think your brain power's already tip top!

Kowalski: You also think that there's a little man in the fridge who turns the light on and off.

Private: (determined) And one day I'll catch him!

Kowalski: No. My brain must be better! (pounds his flipper once then raises it in the air) And it will be! I will be the- AAAHH!!! (Accidentally walks over the fishbowl entrance and falls into the underground HQ) Ow...

Skipper: Not off to a great start.

Scene IIEdit

(Kowalski starts mixing up chemicals and he drinks the solution. Then he flips some switches on a device next to him, then he plugs in a bunch of wires attached to the machine to his head. Finally, he switches the machine on and electricity starts to surge all around his body. He laughs crazily as the plugs come off his head.)

Kowalski: (exiting his lab) I did it!

(the penguins turn around. Rico and Private are shocked and Skipper just stares seriously, not impressed.)

Kowalski: I have supercharged my brain! (Camera shows Kowalski's massive head which charges up)

Skipper: Hey! New noggin? Good on you!

Private: It's quite uhh... bulbous...

Kowalski: Isn't it? All I had to do was eradiate massive quantities of Omega three fatty acids then add-

(Kowalski gets cut off by the sound of Rico gnawing his cards)

Kowalski: (arrogantly) Pfft! Why am I even bothering? All you tiny brain folk need to know is that I am now the smartest penguin on Earth!

Private: Weren't you already that?

Kowalski: Well... yeah! (chuckles) But I am wa-y smarter now! I can do anything! (takes out a clip board and starts scribbling on it) Cure the common cold, solve string theory, calculate Pi to the millionth digit! (Throws clipboard to the side and smirks)

Rico: Yay! Pie! (Throws flippers in the air; Kowalski gives him a wierd look)

Kowalski: Well, if anybody needs me I'll be pushing the envelope of fluid structural dynamics and Mocha regenerative machines! (goes into his lab and slams the door)

Rico: Pie?

Private: Sorry, Rico no pie. But it is almost lunch time.

Rico: Yay!

Scene IIIEdit

Skipper: What is the chow holdup?
Rico: FIIIIIIIISH!
Private: I am a bit peckish, Skipper. Where is Alice?