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An Elephant Never Forgets/Transcript

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An Elephant Never Forgets

Scene I: The Zoo

Skipper: Ah. Nothing like an old fashioned Sunday drive, eh, Private? Blow darts, hard left.

Private screams while tilting the car. Blow darts hit the brick wall and it is revealed that Rico fired them.

Rico: Aw, man.

Private is still seen screaming as he avoids a line of Bowling Pins, painted like penguins. Private looks ahead and sees more pins, this time more spread out and at random. Private narrowly manages to avoid them, as well as a swinging log, an oncoming bowling ball, and a bomb, which explodes as Private collides with it. Fortunately, Private and Skipper manage to avoid it while in the car.

Skipper: Excellent reaction time, Private! You're really getting the hang of this combat driving course. Mind the chainsaw...

As Skipper mentions it, a rogue chainsaw is seen carving up the pavement and heading towards Private and Skipper. Private screams again and hits the breaks on the car. Then he shifts it in reverse as the Chainsaw heads towards him and swerves out of the way again just as the Chainsaw passes by them. Private is now seen panting frantically and heavily.

Kowalski: My baby!

Private screams as we now see Kowalski wearing a blonde wig on his head and something wrapped up like a baby in his hands. Kowalski is seen imitating a dansel in distress while carrying the object.

Kowalski: Someone please save my baby! (tosses the object to Private, who catches it).
Skipper: Think fast Private. That ain't no baby!

Private looks down and sees that the object Kowalski was holding was a time bomb wrapped in a cloak, dangerously counting down from "00:05", Private screams again and tosses the bomb out of the car and drives away, just in time as the bomb explodes. The explosion is powerful enough to send Kowalski's wig flying off his head.

Kowalski: Oh, baby!

Private now has his head in between his legs and looks like he's about to have a nervous breakdown.

Skipper: Just feel the road...

Burt: There you guys are!

Skipper and Private regain their attention as Burt the Elephant's foot comes down, blocking their path.

Skipper: Evasive!

Private manages to swerve the oncoming car out of the way into Burt's leg, but ultimately the car crashes into one of his other legs. (Although there is no reaction from Burt). Once the smoke settles from the crash, Private scampers out of the car, hyperventilating frantically.

Skipper: Not bad, Private. But had that'd been a decoy Elephant foot, loaded with T.N.T. You and I wouldn't be having his conversation. (looks over at Private to see that he's not in the car)

Private: (still panting) Is-- is that likely to happen often Skipper?

Skipper: (sarcastically) Well, why don't we ask Manfredi and Johnson? Oh! We can't! Because they fell for the old exploding Elephant foot!

Rico and Kowalski regroup and Skipper and Private as the Penguins greet Burt.

Skipper: So, what's the trouble, Long Trunks?
Burt: You guys gotta help me. I've gotta get out of the Zoo and across town, today!
Private: Oh, a breakout?
Kowalski: Hmm, complicated by cross-town transport of the largest, living, land mammal.
Skipper: That's a tall order on short notice my ginormous friend. Why the urgency?
Burt: (sneakily) Let's just say, an Elephant never forgets.
Rico: (confused) Uh, an Elephant never forgets?
Skipper: (impressed) Ooh! Dark and sinister sounding, with a classic pachyderm cliche. Big man, you play me like a fiddle.

Scene II: Elephant Habitat

The Penguins and Burt as seen in Burt's Habitat. They are all looking at a map with figurines of them on it.

Skipper: our first obstacle is Alice. We'll have to keep her too busy to notice Jumbo's exodus.
Kowalski: Perhaps some sort of large mess to clean? But what would be the ideal location for maximum "filthiocity?"

Skipper places the piece representing Alice by the Restrooms on the map.

Kowalski: The public restrooms, of course!
Skipper: All we need is one strategically placed Stink Bomb.
Kowalski: Uh, organic or chemical?
Skipper: Well, let's go green on this one. Big grey, what did you eat for Breakfast?
Burt: Beans, broccoli, and a cabbage burrito. Why?
Skipper: Perfecto.

Scene III: The Zoo/Restrooms

Alice is seen singing to herself. When she passes by the Restrooms, she begins gagging loudly in disgust.

Alice: What in the world?!

Following the smells, Alice enters the restroom. Shortly after entering it, she is heard screaming loudly in horror at what is inside. The Penguins and Burt peak out from besides the wall to see he reaction.

Skipper: Excellent Craftsmanship.
Burt: (Scoffs with flattery) The Burrito did most of the work.

Scene IV: Elephant Habitat

...to be continued...

Scene V: The Zoo

...to be continued...

Scene VI: The City/The Zoo

...to be continued...

Scene VII: Elephant Habitat

...to be continued...

Scene VIII: The Zoo (flashback)

...to be continued...

Scene IX: Elephant Habitat

...to be continued...

Scene X: Kid Kazoo's Apartment

...to be continued...

Scene XI: The City

...to be continued...

Scene XII: Kid Kazoo's Apartment

...to be continued...

Scene XIII: The City

The Penguins and Burt are seen heading back to the Zoo, The Penguins are holding up the scribble painting that used to be in Kid Kazoo's apartment as a "disguise" for Burt.

Skipper: Now remember if anyone asks, you're name is "The Museum of Modern Art!"
Burt: You can call me "M.O.M.A."


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