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Skipper: Look alive, men. I've got my freak on for recon.
Skipper: It's too horrible for words. Except these ones. The words I'm saying
right now! These are fine. But anything else, no go!
Skipper: Not to worry, men. There's more than one way to make a penguin puke
his guts out.
Private: Really? How many...?
Skipper: Seventeen. Just don't ever ask to see number twelve.
Kowalski: That bomb is not coming out. We could send a man inside to defuse it
if we were about yea tall.
Skipper: And how close are we from shrink ray technology?
Kowalski: 700 years.
Skipper: [tosses aside a device next to him] Curse you, shrink ray!
Kowalski: Make that 712.
[as they put Mort inside Rico to defuse the bomb] Maurice: The bird's have gone carnivore! Julien: Quick, we must flee! Maurice, distract them by being eaten!
Skipper: That dame is a riddle wrapped in mystery and dunked in nasty sauce.
Kowalski: You need to get to the bottom of the stomach. Mort: Down the spiral staircase? Kowalski: Take the elevator. It's quicker.
Skipper: Dynamite! The classic time-bomb bundle with LED countdown delay.
Maximum explode-ability matched with maximum get-away-ability. Rico,
you're a mad genius. That robo-zoo guide goes sayonara in half an
hour... high noon!
Skipper: Well, Rico, I'm sorry it has to come to this, but I had Kowalski whip
up a little concoction I like to call... Number Twelve!
Kowalski: 2 scoops of squirrel lint, a dash of baboon spit, used kitty litter,
1 hippo toenail, and anything we could find in the monkey cages.
Whoa, mama!
Skipper: Whistling. Awfully cheery for someone pushing a suspiciously
human-shaped sack. Wouldn't you say?
Private: I don't know, Skipper. Sometimes a good whistle makes me feel like a
pretty little butterfly.
[Rico starts to retch]
Skipper: Can the sweet talk, Private. You know Rico has gooey love mush
sensitivity.
Kowalski: Looks like she's burying the evidence, Skipper... above ground,
standing up, in the busiest crossroads of the zoo.
Skipper: Putting her gruesome handiwork on display? How sick is this woman?
Julien: Oh, metal wise-man. Show me who is the smartest of all creatures? [Robot points right; Julien quickly moves to where he's pointing] Julien: That is right! Yes, me. Mort: Oh, make the shiny man do magic again! Julien: Now show me who has the most attractive bottom? [Robot points left; Julien moves his butt to where he's pointing] Julien: Amazing! How does it know?
Skipper: So that's their game. Blowing us up one by one with un-regurgit-able
gut bombs. Horrified, yet impressed.
Kowalski: It's so obvious. I should have seen it coming. I'm sorry, Rico. I
blame myself.
Private: No Rico! No...
Skipper: Not Rico! Not anybody! Kowalski, status report.
Kowalski: 22 minutes, 46 seconds.
Skipper: Then we've got 22 minutes and 45 seconds to get that bomb out of our
buddy's belly. Rico, my friend, we are gonna teach you to spew again!
Skipper: I smuggled this out of the souvenir gift shop.
Kowalski: A nature documentary?
Skipper: Wait for it.
[Plays movie]
Narrator (vo): This is Antarctica. Icy home to the playful penguin.
Private: Hey, that looks like uncle Nigel.
[Roaring from documentary]
Narrator (vo): Who become prey to the insatiable blood thirst of this
leopard seal.
Kowalski: Oh, that image will haunt me!
Skipper: It's just a boring... documentary.
Narrator (vo): Betcha can't eat just one, Mr. Seal.
Skipper: Sorry, Rico, looks like it's game over. I never thought it would end
this way, but I just want you to know... I love you, you crazy
knucklehead.
Kowalski: I also love you, in the same way expressed previously... dude.
Private: [Hugging Rico] I love you too, Rico!
[Rico starts to retch]
Mort: [Inside Rico] And I love this popcorn. It's a little wet, though.
[Rico's stomach rumbles]
Julien: Eh, what is that noise?
Skipper: [breaking down] I'm not good with words - well, actually, neither are
you - but I just wanna say... you are my brother!
Kowalski: That's poetry, Skipper.
Julien: I don't know about him, but this mush is making me want to blow chunks.
Skipper: Do you mind?
Private: Wherever the sun lay softly it's head, there will the land whisper,
"Rico. Rico."."
Kowalski: [breaking down] Okay, now that's poetry!
[They all cry and hug each other; Julien joins in; they all glare at him]
Julien: I just want to see a penguin throw up.
Skipper: Take a look at our future, men. Phase Two: robot animals. Kowalski: It's a classic cost-cutting maneuver. Replacement and elimination. Skipper: But there's... [Counts to himself] Skipper: ...*four* things they didn't count on. The war on robots begins... [pause] Kowalski: Uh, Skip... [Skipper signals to wait] Skipper: ...now!
[after the robot blows up] Julien: He was the only one who truly appreciated my bottom. [One of the robot's arms land behind Julien, pointing at his butt] Julien: Hey! He's still loving my booty!
Julien: Who is burping up the stinking fog of lint, and spit, and unspeakable
things from a kitten, and... Oof! I don't even want to know what that
fart was.
Mort: Ooh, it smells like the circus!
[The penguins take Mort]
Mort: Am I going to the circus too?
[They shove Mort down Rico's throat]
Mort: Why is the circus so dark and slimy? Hey, there's popcorn down here.
Hooray!
Julien: It is the most handsomest thing I have ever seen... except for me,
which goes without saying, but I said it anyway. Why? I don't know!
Kowalski: Okay, do you see the bomb?
Mort: Um, I see and old squeaky toy. Wait, I see it! I see the bomb!
Kowalski: Good. Now separate the blue and yellow wires from their sheathing,
reverse the polarity, and splice both to the ground lead, which
should be a slightly thicker copper filament. Am I going too fast for
you?
Mort: Um, okay. Which of the colors is blue?
[The penguins sigh exasperatedly]
Mort: Is this the blue one?
[Rico shrieks]
Kowalski: No, I believe that's a kidney.
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