A Christmas Caper/Quotes

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Skipper: [following a group of nuns] Blend! Blend! Blend!(hides behind a trash can) 

(doorbell rings)
Skipper:Who could that be?
Ted:Um,if you don't mind, I invited a few friends over.
Skipper: (surprised) You what?!

Skipper: Hoover Dam!

Employee: Very generous sir.

Private: Skipper!
Skipper: Private! Step on it Kowalski!

Skipper: Eggnog at 2100 hours, writing our names in the snow at 2105.
Private: Skipper?

Kowalski: Oh, no. He must be out there all by himself.
Skipper: He's one of us, men. You all know the Penguin Credo.
Kowalski: Never bathe in hot oil and Bisquick?
Skipper: No.

[Rico speaks Japanese gibberish]

Skipper: No, that's the Walrus Credo. It's "Never swim alone." Private's out 
         there all by himself, and we never leave one of our own.
Kowalski and Rico: Oh, yeah.
(Skipper face palms)
Skipper: Let's go.

Private: Thanks for rescuing me, Skipper.
Skipper: Think nothing of it, young Private. It's the least we could do. You
         remember the Penguin Credo.

(the penguins stopped in the middle of the way to the Zoo)

Private: What does deep-frying in Bisquick have to do with any of this?
Skipper: Not that one, the other one! "Never swim alone!" Alone! On Christmas!
         Don't you get it? Come on people, do I have to explain this to 
(Rico nods)

Skipper: He's in trouble.
Rico: [starts to light a stick of dynamite] Kaboom!
Skipper: Stand down, soldier. We're in observation mode.

Skipper: [to the penguins] Grand Coulee Dam! Private's been captured.

Skipper: Engage cranberries!

Skipper: Kowalski, analysis!

[Kowalski eats some snow]

Kowalski: Mmm... Adrenaline, sweat and sardines. These tracks are fresh sir!
Skipper: He's close... I can feel it.

Skipper: Shitake mushrooms! No more Mr. Cute and Cuddly.
Rico: [grabs stick of dynamite] Kaboom-kaboom-kaboom!
Skipper: Rico! Enough with the dynamite already!
Rico: [sighs disappointed] Aww.

Skipper: [to the penguins] Holy butterball!
(The fried chicken is stuck and Private's head is stuck in it) 

[Mr. Chew starts eating Private's Christmas sock, while Private's in it]

Private: Nice doggy! Good Doggy! No, good boy! No! No! Don't eat me! No!

[Mr. Chew comes closer to Private and Private starts to panic]

Private: Leave me alone! Don't eat me! AAAH!

[Skipper, Kowalski and Rico break in through a window, landing safely on a 

Skipper: Santa Claus has come to town!
Private: Ooh, Skipper.

Private: But no-one should be sad and alone on Christmas!
Skipper: Exactly! So throw those troubles away and be merry! Pronto!
Private: But Skipper...
Skipper: That's an order mister.

Kowalski: [as Rico drinks Eggnog] Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

[Rico holds an anvil above the elderly lady's head]
 Skipper: Rico! She didn't see anything! Let's blow this Popsicle stand, boys!
 Rico: [Regurgitates a dynamite] Kaaboooom?
Skipper: Yes, Rico. Kaaboom.

Rico: Eggno-o-o-og! Eggnog! Eggnog!

[Old Lady thinks that Private is a toy.]

Old Lady: Now this is workmanship. So where's the gosh darn squeaker on this 
          thing? It's gotta have a squeaker.

[Private farts]

Old Lady: Now that's more like it.

Skipper: [to Rico playing the "Knife game" at the dinner table] Rico! Not at 
         the table.

Skipper: [watching Rico chug eggnog] That boy can really hold down his nog.

Old Lady: [to the taxi driver] I got a tip for ya! Drop dead!

Skipper: What comes down must go up!

TV Announcer: [Private flies across the room] Ryan takes the snap!

[Private flies into a table covered in food]

TV Announcer: What a hit! Ryan is down!

Skipper: Excelente!

Old Lady: [to Mr. Chew] Why does Christmas have to be every year! What a pain
          the the ugh! The tape! It's so sticky!

Skipper: [following Old Lady] Not on my watch, Blue Hair!

Kowalski: How are we going to get inside?
Rico: [Lights a fuse] Ka-boom! Ka-boom!
Skipper: I have a better idea.

[Puts out the fuse]

Rico: Oh.

[last lines]

All: [singing] Jingle Bells, monkey's smell 
     Melman laid an egg
     Marty thinks that Alex stinks
     And the camels say, "Oy vey!"

[first lines]

Private: He looks so sad.
Skipper: Rico, I want that tree up to muster.

Skipper: Hold on a second! Something's missing! 
Kowalski: Cranberries: check! Eggnog: check! 
Skipper: Give me a headcount. 
Kowalski: [grabs abacus] We have three heads, sir! 
Skipper: Where's the private? 
Kowalski: Unknown sir! It would appear that he's 

[grabs milk carton] 

Kowalski: missing! 

[shows milk carton with a big 'missing' advert for the private] 

Skipper: Missing? Hoover Dam! Wait, there he is. He just went to bed. 

[pulls off sheets, revealing a bowling pin underneath] 

Skipper: What the... 

[slapping the pin] 

Skipper: What have you do with Private? Talk, Mister! 
Kowalski: Skipper, over here. 
Skipper: [to pin] I'll deal with you later.

Skipper: It's not too late young Private.

[Old lady notices the Christmas decorations are ruined.]

Old Lady: Eek! What is all this? 

[She looks at to Mr. Chew]

Old Lady: Mr. Chew, this is all your fault! (Christmas Tree falls) Bad dog!  You're in a big time out!

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